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Unconditional Love - A Realistic Relationship Goal or a Romantic Fantasy?

Author: Deborrah Cooper

A young woman wrote in to my dating advice column recently and asked me: "What qualities are absolutely essential in a partner or in an ideal relationship? I have a pretty huge list and want to share some of them with you

o affectionate
o unconditional love for each other
o emotional support, connection and harmony
o caring, kind, compassionate
o easygoing, calm
o stability, commitment, loyal
o understanding, accepting (accepts me as I am)
o tolerant
o appreciation and love for each other
o enjoys intimacy regularly
o sense of humor
o positive outlook (happy and optimistic)

I am seeking this man and hope to find this type of love some day. What do you think of my list?"

My response was probably not what she wanted to hear, but with almost 20 years of experience in dating and relationships industry, I know this young lady is headed for disappointment. Her list is created from girlish childhood fantasies of the Knight swooping in to save the fair maiden. Her list is to me nothing but fantasy from a young woman that has obviously never been married.

Hey, I'm not saying that men cannot be honest, loving, committed and many of the things on the list above, don't get me wrong! But real men are not perfect by any means. Even if a guy did possess all of her listed qualities, they won't be in evidence every single day!

He is going to mess up sometimes, piss her off, and definitely not be the man of her dreams. So I can say with confidence that the man she dreams of only exists in soap operas, fairy tales and romance novels. He is not a real man.

If you are passing up great partners and dismissing them as unsuitable while you seek the romantic fantasy of "unconditional love" you need to stop. Take that qualification off your list and get real. Everything has conditions.

And people will stop loving you if you do things on their "crossed the line" list, as well they should! Expecting that you can treat others any way you want and that they will keep loving you anyway is unrealistic.

Why would anyone with good sense continue to love and care for someone that intentionally did something foul and disrespectful, with the full intent of harm or using them?

For instance, a woman who whines and cries claims to still love a man even though he hurt her children or parents, or committed a violent crime against someone's daughter is a fool. That man would have crossed all barriers of decency and humanity and he should be left in the dust.

When involved in any relationship, we must all decide what our bottom line is. Some people will continue to love and support their friends, children and family members even if they do something on the 'crossed off' list.

However, my standard on this issue is this: Anyone that hits me, hurts my child, hurts my Mom or Dad or brothers gets no love from me! You steal my money you are out. You do anything foul and funky with intent to harm me, you are out. And I don't care who you are.

To me, unconditional love under those circumstances makes no sense and means you care more about someone else than you do yourself. Sadly, the attitude of "I hate myself but I love you" goes hand in hand with a damaged sense of self and low self-esteem, which is almost epidemic in our society.

I strongly suggest that all women eliminate the fantasy of unconditional love in their romantic relationships. Establish boundaries for proper treatment and respect and enforce them 100%! NEVER waste your time or your loving heart loving someone that has clearly demonstrated that they do not love you back.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/unconditional-love-a-realistic-relationship-goal-or-a-romantic-fantasy-404911.html

About the Author

(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 8:00 pm PST.

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Dr. George Karanastasis - How To Get Her Back For Good Review

Author: Chris Jensen

How To Get Her Back For Good by Dr. George Karanastasis is a great book for men who have been wanting to get their ex-girlfriend back into their arms. It's a sort of a guide that contains vital information on relationship repairs and effective ways on getting an ex-girlfriend back.

If you've also been wanting to get your ex-girlfriend back into your arms, you must give How To Get Her Back For Good by Dr. George Karanastasis a try. You won't ever find any other books as great as it is. Effectively, it can help you get your ex-girlfriend back into your arms.

Specifically, the book contains:

- How and when to bring up the idea of getting back together with the ex-girlfriend.
- Best words to say when the ex-girlfriend calls.
- How to make the ex-girlfriend realize what she has been missing.
- The 4 things that boyfriends keep on doing which unfortunately girlfriends are not happy about. These 4 things must not be done by any boyfriends who want to keep their girlfriends for life.
- How to rekindle the ex-girlfriend's feelings and eventually make the ex-girlfriend also want the ex-boyfriend back.
- How to discover the real reason for the breakup. Often, girlfriends do not tell the real reason for the breakup.
- How to get the “balance of power” in own favor in case the ex-girlfriend agrees to try again. Normally, it's best to get the “balance of power” in own favor to better work on things out.

No doubt,  How To Get Her Back For Good by Dr. George Karanastasis is a one complete sort of a guide. For men who have been wanting to get their ex-girlfriend back into their arms, it's a must-have.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/dr-george-karanastasis-how-to-get-her-back-for-good-review-943680.html

About the Author

This author finds Get your Ex Girl Friend Back and How To Get Her Back For Good Review very interesting.

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A Maid of Honor Wedding Speech Example

Author: Rafi Michael

Wedding ceremony speeches are many as people try to congratulate and advise the newly weds. One such speech is the maid of honor wedding speech. It comes after the best man's speech and it should focus on delighting the bride. To give a speech that is memorable and one that will please the couple and the guests, one can prepare adequately for it. Topics that are covered in the maid of honor wedding speech should be from the heart. One way of starting the speech is by letting the people know how you know the bride. One can let people know how you met the bride and how you became friends. One can also tell the guests what the bride would tell you about the groom.

Having short wedding speeches is always appealing to the guests and the maid of honor wedding speech is not any different. One should keep the speech brief and refer to the wedding vows made in the ceremony. The maid of honor wedding speech is brief because the audience still has to listen to other speeches after yours just as they have already listened to other speeches before yours. A maid of honor wedding speech should be lively, enthusiastic, and sincere. Saying something favoring the bride is advisable. One can also congratulate the bridal couple and tease the bride a bit. The speech can have some love quotes that dwell on the couple's joyous celebration. Although the speech is personal, it should not embarrass the bride. You are her friend and this should be portrayed in the speech that you give. Throwing in some love quotes in the speech is also advised.

Writing the maid of honor wedding speech beforehand allows someone have time to go through it and make some corrections. After writing it, you can ask someone else to read it and offer his or her opinion. Having a written speech prevents someone from mumbling and stammering as one looks for words to fill their speech. If you do not want to have a sheaf of papers that you are trying to get in order, cards will work out well too. A maid of honor wedding speech example is as follows.

''Ladies and gentlemen, my name is ______. _____ and I have known each other since college. Since then we have shared memorable moments and her wedding is no exception. _____ has always been there for me. I remember one time when... When she told me she was getting married ... Her wonderful nature and patience are some of her wonderful characteristics... I would just like the groom to know that in _____, he has found a worthy companion who will honor her wedding vows and...As I end my speech, I leave with this quote 'may the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out'.''

A good maid of honor wedding speech tries to incorporate all the positive things about the bride but this should not be exaggerated. Keeping a light tone during this short wedding speech will not bore people.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/a-maid-of-honor-wedding-speech-example-587498.html

About the Author
Wedding Tips Wedding Photography & Video Productions Toronto we specialize in individually tailored Wedding Photography, Videos and DVD's, offering an experienced, highly professional and affordable service. for more info vist: http://www.videobabylon.ca/Toronto-Weddings-Blog/

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Afghani Marriage Traditions

Author: Rafi Michael

Marriage is the auspicious occasion which demand gathering. The marriage demands celebration and community feast accompanied with lots of thrills.

Afghan marriage is generally accustomed with the traditions and rituals which have been the part of the ancient culture. Though different tribes are accustomed with the somewhat different rituals, but laws remain same throughout the nation.

In Afghanistan, marriage is a much celebrated event where the entire atmosphere hives with activity.

Marriage between the first cousins is a common practice. When the girl attains the age of ten, search for a prospective groom is initiated by the women folk. Mother and aunts meet the female friends to consult various prospective candidates.

The status of the guy, his background and his looks are considered before deciding the issue. The choice is then presented before the men folk and they take necessary inquires before finalizing the alliance. Once everything is found suitable, the pre-wedding ceremonies are performed to give a public approval of the things.

Actual marriage generally takes place when girl attains the age of sixteen.

According to the local tradition, every marriage requires two exchanges. A dowry is brought by the bride to the husband's house. It generally constitutes household items which the couple will need for their future life together.

On the other side, 'mahr' which is the price for the girl is paid by the groom. It generally consists of livestock, property and money.

Wedding day is the day of great activity for the family. Gathering of friends and relatives is held to compliment the couple and their families. Whole environment presents a festive look.

Special dishes are prepared which include kababs grilled on skewers, nan which is Afghan bread in flat and oval shaped, stewed vegetables and rice cooked with meat.

In the evening, women sit inside the courtyard. The men sit in 'hujara', which is a large room with Afghan carpets and cushions. Hujara is place where men sit. In Afghanistan and other traditional Islamic cultures, it is customary to have men and women separated at social events.

Every arrangement for the comforts of the guests is done. In the evening, a feast is organized. As is dictated by the Pushtun tradition of hospitability, the hosts will not eat until after the guests have had their fill.

In the end, music is played to mark the atmosphere with gaiety and excitement.

The Afghan laws govern the marriages. A Muslim man can marry a non Muslim woman but a non Muslim woman cannot marry a Muslim man.

When a Muslim man wants to marry a foreign woman who is non-Muslim and the woman is not "kitabi" that is of the book, she must first convert to Islam. In either case, the court will only register the marriage religiously, with the "nekah ceremony". When both the parties are Muslim, the Family Court will register the marriage and perform the Muslim "nekah"ceremony. The "nekah"is comprised of the "igaba wa qabul" which is an acceptance agreement and the "khotba".

In case of both non-Muslim foreigners, the court will register the marriage by performing solely the "igaba wa qabul" or acceptance agreement. The court will also seek to apply the regulations which govern marriages in the couples' home country. Though Afghan law permits polygamy but American men will not be allowed to marry multiple women.

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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/afghani-marriage-traditions-183816.html

About the Author
Babylon Toronto Weddings Photography Dj Video Limo Services Wedding Photography & Video Productions Toronto we specialize in individually tailored Wedding Photography, Videos and DVD's, offering an experienced, highly professional and affordable service.

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Who Owns The Engagement Ring?

Author: Jill Renee

Hopefully, this is a question which you never have to answer but, on occasion engagements do end before making it to the altar. The vexed question is what should the lady do with the ring? Should it be given back or can she keep it, indeed should she keep it?

The most cited legal authority is a Michigan law case, Meyer-v-Mitnick which ruled that the giving of an engagement ring is a "conditional gift", that is the engagement ring is given subject to the condition of the lady receiving it following through on her agreement to the proposal of marriage. If she doesn't follow through with the marriage, then the engagement ring remains the legal property of the man and should be returned. This is subject to numerous caveats though, so we need to clarify.

Where the engagement ring is made on traditional gift giving holidays, typically Christmas but also note Valentine's Day, then the engagement ring immediately becomes the legal property of the woman receiving it irrespective of whether the marriage takes place.

There is also a "no fault" doctrine which has taken root in many states, and where the engagement is broken off by the man, then it is he who has created a situation where the woman cannot possibly fulfil the condition of marriage and so she shall be entitled to retain the ring.

In reality, the chances of ending up in court arguing over who owns the ring are relatively slim; no-one wants to engage in an acrimonious legal dispute as part of the autopsy of a failed relationship, especially one which is so emotionally charged

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/who-owns-the-engagement-ring-1908424.html

About the Author

By Jill Renee

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