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Pros And Cons Of The Age Gap

Author: Graham Billingham

Being with someone who is several years older or younger than you can be both a blessing and a curse. Before you decide to get serious, you should know what you're getting into.

If you're younger...

PROS

You get to be with someone mature. Someone who doesn't "act out" or throw tantrums just because you happened to mention that you have a crush on a celebrity. Also, because of your lover's life experience, he/she can dish out valuable advice that you couldn't get from your friends.

You can learn a thing or two - and I'm not just talking about life lessons. Older people have had more sexual experiences, and if you've got the right lover, he or she won't hesitate to teach you some new "moves".

Your lover is more interesting than people your age. Again, this is mostly because of life experiences. Older men and women have gone through enough problems and opportunities, and they have several funny, inspiring, painful, and horrifying stories to tell. Also, if the age gap is wide enough, the type of music or movies that he or she likes may be completely different from yours, and getting a taste of these "oldies" can help you grow culturally.

CONS

Emotional baggage. The older man and the older woman have enough emotional baggage to drag you down. Beware of verbally psychoanalyzing their actions - it's unlikely that they want a "kid" to tell them what they did wrong in their lives. Instead, be understanding and make sure that your older lover isn't an emotional vampire who will suck you dry.

If you're older...

PROS

The younger man/woman can inspire you with a sense of awe. Having a young, new body next to you can knock a few years off of your own age. You get to do more youthful things, and you tap the mindset of today's youth.

The younger lover doesn't have that much emotional baggage. This means that things are more "happy-go-lucky" and smoother with the younger lover. You won't get late night conversations about every ex that's ever broken his or her heart. Also, there's not much that you can get compared to. Odds are, if he or she says that you're the best sex in his/her life, it's true.

The younger lover looks up to you. This is because of all the advice and life lessons you have to offer. You've been through a lot, and your lover knows this. Odds are, you're the first one he or she talks to during times of conflict.

CONS

The younger lover can be immature. Sometimes, young lovers are such perfectionists that they seek all sorts of things that you can't give. This is why, if you want to go out with someone younger, make sure that he or she is mature for his or her age.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/pros-and-cons-of-the-age-gap-136232.html

About the Author
Graham Billingham writes for DrDating.com a site filled with help and advice for online dating, relationships and love.

5 WARNING SIGNS YOU’LL NEVER MEET SOMEONE

Author: Tonja Weimer

Do you worry that you will never meet someone?  Have you tried to date, but nothing ever works out?  There are warning signs that tell you why this happens.  Do you know what the signs are?

WARNING SIGN #1 Disastrous Dates

The first warning sign that you won’t meet someone is when you have a date that you think is a disaster and you focus on the “failure” of it.  You may keep trying to date, but each person seems worse than the last one.  You consider this a sure sign that you will be alone the rest of your life, that you are not attractive enough to get the one you want, and, most of all, the one you want doesn’t even exist!

WHAT YOU CAN DO:  Shift your thinking from failure to success. You haven’t “lost” anything except some expectations.  Look for what you learned.  You have gained insight, clarity, and knowledge.  You can use these lessons on the path to your True Love.

CONCLUSION:  Your single life is not a contest—it’s an adventure.  Stop looking at it like it is one impossible event after another.  As long as you think of it as a win-lose, you will not feel successful, or brave enough to take the necessary steps to meet someone.  You are allowing your creative mind to dip into the negative zone, turning a disappointing date into an act of rejection.  Get a grip.  Don’t talk yourself into feeling rejected.  No one rejects you but your own mean inner critic.

WARNING SIGN #2: Interpreting Every Date As A Rejection

WHAT TO DO: It takes a victim and a victimizer, carefully orchestrating their misery, to be successful in creating the game of rejection.  If you don’t play the game, you can’t be rejected.  You are not rejected if someone shares that you two don’t seem compatible.  Say, “Thank you,” let go of whatever you were expecting, and move on.  How do you keep your dance card full so one less name on it will barely be missed?  Get out often, get out more, and get out and be friendly.

CONCLUSION: If you make a plan for your social life, you don’t have to wait for love to “just happen.”  Follow the plan, and plan for volume, so you won’t fall into the “I’ve been rejected” pit.

WARNING SIGN #3: Jealousy Consumes You When Someone Else Falls In Love

WHAT TO DO: When you feel jealous of anyone for ANYTHING, look to see what you have not done for you.  Jealousy occurs when we feel deprived, or helpless, or like we are not enough.  If you are jealous of another person, ask yourself:

• What have I done lately to meet someone?  Do I get out whenever possible, tell lots of people I would like to meet someone, and stay friendly, reaching out to others?  Be honest.  How much have you really done?
• What can I do to feel better about myself?  Need a counselor, exercise program, or financial adviser?
• What can I do today to empower myself?  Have I de-cluttered recently, eliminated what I have been putting up with, or found something to do that I LOVE?

CONCLUSION: Jealousy happens when you are feeling empty and unfulfilled.  No one can make you jealous if your life is brimming with good things and if you know you have the power to create everything you want.

WARNING SIGN #4: Looking For Someone To Make You Happy

WHAT TO DO: Look to see where you can make yourself happy.  You may think all your fears will melt and your problems will be handled when The Perfect One enters your life.  But if you have this state of mind, when you find The One and continue not to be happy, you may think it is the other person’s fault.  True—the other person may be a jerk or jerkette—but your unhappiness started with you.  Pull your life together, do things that make you proud, and then you will attract someone like you.

CONCLUSION: Happiness is not an elusive balloon—one minute you have a hold of it and the next, it slips from your grasp.  You don’t have to go chasing after it.  It’s in you.  No one can give it to you, and no one can take it away.  You give it to yourself.

WARNING SIGN #5: Projection Onto The Other Person

WHAT TO DO: This is a common mistake singles make.  Many people who live alone want to meet someone so much, when they finally get a date, they read all kinds of values and character traits into the person that just aren’t there.  Eventually, they wind up being angry because he or she didn’t live up to their expectations.

CONCLUSION: Be careful when meeting your future dates that you don’t “make it up” they are so perfect, you miss the red flags of danger.

These are the five warning signs that can become your new guide to find romance.  Give them a try.  You deserve to find your love.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/5-warning-signs-youll-never-meet-someone-1147981.html

About the Author

About Tonja Weimer:

· Columnist: Weekly syndicated singles and dating columnist (over four million readers in the U.S. and Canada)

· Media: Coverage on TV, including CNN’s ShowBiz Today; rave reviews in USA Today, Entertainment Weekly, Publisher’s Weekly

· Author: NBC/USA TV Network, selected author for articles on dating and singles for website

· Articles: In House Beautiful, New Woman, GRAND, and other national magazines

· Coach: Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach; Associate Certified Life Coach; International Coach Federation; Relationship Coaching Institute; Institute for Life Coach Training

· Keynote Speaker: Regional, National and International conferences in U.S., India and Europe

· Academic: BA; MA in Human Development; U.S. Dept of Mental Health full fellowship

· Published Author: 7 Books(Fingerplays for Children; Creative Movement for Children, etc) winning over 25 awards.

Visit Tonja's website for more exciting dating tips!

Singles Dating Tips Online

How To Meet Single Women - Art Of Approaching

Author: Ella Burton

How to meet single women? You may have asked yourself this question at one point in your life. But what if you have been dating a nice woman and the two of you seem to feel at ease with each other or enjoy being together. Then perhaps the better question is “how to create a stronger and more romantic relationship”, right?

Click Here For Art of Approaching Instant Access Now!

First of all, talk. Establish trust and rapport with each other. Set up lines of communication. Share your past pains and disappointments, and your triumphs and joys as well. You can laugh and cry together. Remember, humor heals and tears are sacred. Every revealed secret, every secret desire, every confession of weakness, every exploration of hope, and admission of paralyzing fear will strengthen the bond between the two of you. They will help you accept the other as a human being, who is flawed but worthy of acceptance as a trusted and intimate companion.

Moreover, you can share your interests, activities, and hobbies. Play games that you both enjoy. Read aloud favorite plays, each of you taking a part. Prepare home cooked meals together. Develop customs and traditions that are unique to your selves as a couple. Be reliable, act honorably, and treat her with respect.

Also, remember that a long-term relationship is a bond between families and not just the persons involved. Introduce her to your family, and get to know her own. You can even get clues to her character from her family background.

However, recognize the fact that even a close relationship may turn sour. Be prepared for even the slightest possibility that your relationship may never kindle. If that happens, then you must simply move on and go on with your life. Meet new persons and explore new relationships. Besides, you already know how to meet single women, so how hard can it be?

Click Here For Art of Approaching Instant Access Now!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-meet-single-women-art-of-approaching-1797755.html

About the Author

This author writes about ">Art Of Approaching and How To Approach Women In Bars.

How To Attract Young Women - Adonis Effect Review

Author: Chris Fenton

Are you one of those guys who feel terrible because they seem to be such douche or such a loser when it comes to attracting young and beautiful ladies? You shouldn't feel upset about yourself because you can still do tons of things to attract beautiful young ladies out there. Here are some easy tips on how to attract young women and make them go crazy over you:

Click Here For Adonis Effect Instant Access Now!

Tip # 1: Make Yourself Look Good All The Time

How can a young lady be attracted to a man who looks he doesn't even know how to take a bath or even just know how to shave at all? Beautiful young ladies would get attracted to someone who looks neat and someone who looks good all the time. Try to wear clean clothes and wear those that compliment your size and color. You don't need to spend too much doing this, all you need to have is some positivity and some creativity.

Tip # 2: Be Confident

If you want to know how to attract young women, then one of the best ways to do it would be to have confidence all the time. When you are around beautiful young ladies, don't act as if you are going to have a panic attack because you might scare them away, instead try to relax and smile. Keep in mind that being confident and starting a conversation with a smile is a must to get a young girl's attention.

Tip # 3: Be Witty

Young ladies are fun to be with so you shouldn't be kill joy when you are around them. Don't act like as if you are too old to be with and they shouldn't be attracted to you. Keep in mind that if you want to know how to attract young women, you should be funny and witty when you are around them. It will surely get their attention and they will surely think that you are a fun person to be with.

You shouldn't act like as if you can't do anything anymore to make beautiful girls want you. Believe in yourself that you can still date a beautiful young lady and make her the girl of your dreams. I hope I helped you and I wish you all the best. Good luck!

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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-attract-young-women-adonis-effect-review-1436164.html

About the Author

This author writes about How To Attract Young Women and Adonis Effect Review.

Why Women Ruin Relationships By Talking Too Much

Author: Deborrah Cooper

Woman complain frequently about male/female communication. "Men don't communicate" these ladies say in frustration. Women complain that men give one-word answers, don't elaborate and tell the entire story in a play by play fashion, and that it feelings like "pulling teeth" to get information out of them.

Being Like A Man Is Not Always A Bad Thing!

Women operate on a different dynamic and love to share their feelings, experiences and thoughts with others. I think this female style of communication is a way that bonds us and brings us closer to others. Which means this communication style is fine with other women when we get together and talk about family and work. But it is absolutely positively the wrong way to communicate with your romantic partner when it comes to the sexual pleasures you've enjoyed before he came on the scene!

Are All The Mysterious Women Dead?

"She possesses an air of mystery." Sadly, that trait is one many women have completely abandoned. In their quest to "be honest" women feel it necessary need to tell their man every thought that passes through their head, and every single thing they've ever done in this life and those previous. In other words, women blab and share wayyyy too much information.

Guys avoid those types of disclosure like the plague. Their thinking is if you haven't asked a specific question, it isn't important enough to bring up, and it's probably not in their best interest to do so.

Men want things in their relationships to be smooth and easy and pleasant. Smart men know that telling their new woman how great their ex was in bed is not something she needs to know. They know women aren't happy hearing that type of news, and there will be some serious unpleasant moments that follow the delivery! Men are smart enough to know that a female coworker's breast augmentation and how much hotter she looks now is not something their woman needs to know either. Women should adopt a similar policy.

Keep The Past Where It Belongs... In The Past!

Recently a letter came into my advice column from a 35 year old woman that had been introduced by her Mom to a nice physician, formerly from her neighborhood. Though he seemed to be somewhat of a braggart, the two got along well and things looked like they were going someplace.

One day he mentioned that he was going to get a haircut in the old neighborhood, and she volunteered that she had gone out to dinner a few times with the owner of that same barbershop. No relationship, nothing sexual, just out to dinner twice.

After this revelation the young Dr. went to the barber and inquired about his interaction with the woman in question. The barber embellished the interaction and represented the relationship as more than it had been, much to the young doctor's chagrin. Feeling that his reputation would be at risk from this association, he immediately broke off the budding relationship.

Why?

He knows how men are. He knew that the other men in the shop would be trading jokes and stories about sexual activities with his new girl, and that he didn't want to endure the subsequent embarrassment.

Why did this young woman not keep her mouth closed? What benefit did she think would be gained by bringing up ancient history? Why talk about something that involved just a couple of dates that took place years ago and led to nothing?

The boyish competitiveness and desire to bring a man with higher social standing and more money down a peg or two is what was behind this little drama.

Understanding men's egos, the dynamic under which men compete and the manner in which men judge women's suitability as a steady girlfriend and/or wife should be enough impetus to keep your lips closed.

However, if you plan to marry, full disclosure should be expected by your fiancee and provided on about matters vital to the marriage. Openness on subjects such as debts, health concerns, child support and visitation, and income are mandatory, but that is really all that is needed.

In conclusion, think before you open your mouth and "share" information with your man that he won't be able to handle. Blabbing every detail about your past interactions with other men will do nothing positive for your new relationship. Every woman past the age of 21 has a past of some sort. The men that come into your life need to accept the woman that you are, take you as you come and love you for exactly who and what you are right now.

Your past, with all your mistakes, challenges, and experiences together created the fascinating creature that he has fallen in love with. Your past should be something you keep to yourself and reflect on in old age with a enigmatic smile. It should be remembered and respected, but never trotted out for critical review and comment by every guy you date.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/why-women-ruin-relationships-by-talking-too-much-370906.html

About the Author

(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 8:00 pm PST.

Tips for Handling Insecurities in a New Relationship

Author: Dani Taylor

Any new relationship can be full of new things to become accustomed to. If you've been recently divorced or gotten out of a long relationship, it can be easy to feel very insecure. You're with someone completely new and different and you're not sure what they are thinking or how they are feeling. Below you will find some important tips for handling insecurities in a new relationship.

Remember That It Is Not Just New to You -

One of the most important things you can remember to help you get over your insecurities is that you're not the only one feeling them. Chances are, your new sweetheart is feeling pretty insecure as well. Naturally, you would probably think that they have nothing to be insecure about. Well, this is probably what they're thinking about you as well. Remember that you're not the only one feeling insecure at this moment - everyone does in new relationships. It makes things easier when you realize that it's a new ballgame for the other person as well.

Be Yourself -

You've most likely heard this before, but it's a very important point of advice. When you let your true colors shine through and be yourself, you are being honest with your new partner. This allows them the chance to see you for who you really are. If they don't like it - then why would you want to be with them anyway? If they are really the one for you, they will like you for who you are. So, remember to be yourself when you are with your new sweetheart and allow them to feel comfortable enough to be themselves.

Don't Over-Analyze -

Many times, when we are feeling insecure about something, we think and think and analyze it until we've made a tiny issue into a huge issue. It's sort of like picking at a small cut until it becomes infected! Don't allow yourself to think too much. After all, relationships and love are not logical - they are emotional. Simply allow yourself to go with the flow and take it one moment at a time. Sure - there are things that you will always be insecure about, but it's who you are. Why let it bug you to death? Don't over-analyze things and you will be fine!

New relationships are tough and sometimes pretty scary. By looking at the tips and guidance above, you can get past the small things like insecurities and move on with the great things - like your new partner! Good luck and go get 'em tiger!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/tips-for-handling-insecurities-in-a-new-relationship-560090.html

About the Author

Dani Taylor is one of the most active members of the divorce support community at Xstilla.com. She is also the editor of the Children & Divorce section and the author of many articles that help people find their way through complicated cases of divorce and child support issues.

Do's and Don'ts the Night of a Threesome

Author: Christopher Markert

The Point of No Return

When an airplane is taking off, there’s a point in the runway that pilots know as the “point of no return”. Once the aircraft is beyond that point, it’s safer to proceed and take-off than to abort the take-off procedure. Beginner skydivers who stand in the door and look down but don’t jump can never be convinced to stand in the door again. They endured the fright without the joy of the free fall to reward them for the danger.

So it is with a threesome! There’s a point during the seduction where you either proceed or you’ll screw up not only the night, but possibly your chances of ever having the opportunity to experience a threesome again with your lady friend.

Remember: the first time at anything is always the hardest. One wise man once said that the best way to deal with fear is by confronting it. I can tell you by experience, that not knowing exactly where things are going will make you feel uncertain and even scared.

Advancing Too Far but not Far Enough

Imagine this scenario: The three of you have just spent an enjoyable evening sipping Chardonnay, sharing your innermost secrets. Things are as planned, she seems interested, you’re both very relaxed and you’re starting to feel those butterflies flying in your belly. Suddenly she looks at her watch and announces she must leave because she has to work early tomorrow morning. At the door she smiles and gives you a hug, you give her a peck on the cheek and she holds you closer. Unable to resist, you find her lips and melt into a passionate kiss. You close the door enthusiastically thinking that you have made great progress!

Now, I’m not denying that you did. Maybe you have, but on the other hand you’ve also risked screwing things up. Since she was leaving there was no chance the kiss might lead to more. You laid all your cards on the table and accidentally announced your intentions with no chance of following through with your plan. Once the wine and the mood dissipate, she may feel uncomfortable or possibly find the situation a bit scary and might promise herself never to allow herself to come that close again. If this happens you lose!

Your mistake was advancing too far but not far enough. You took her far enough to scare her without showing her how wonderful the rewards could be! There’s one rule that you must keep in mind: Never start a seduction unless you’re sure you can finish it. In your planning you must take into consideration that you complete any trip you begin, and ensure your trip is not interrupted along the way. So plan accordingly.

Following the Path of Least Resistance

Our German ancestors taught us that water running through rivers flows through the path of least resistance. When structuring your plan, make sure the flow of the action requires little or no action on her part. Internet marketers mention always that you have to make it easy for customers to buy. If you tell them that they need to answer twenty five questions, fax you their passport number, fill out their credit card number and wait a week for a response, the amount of sales you’ll close will be next to nil. However, if in a matter of three to four clicks your customers can buy from your website your sales will drastically increase. In your planning, you need to make sure that everything is effortless.

Arrange the evening in a way that decisions are painless. For example, avoid starting your seduction before dinner, or while cooking. Awkward circumstances and a “start-stop” process present too many choices, because they give her too many chances to think about what's happening. It will be hard just to have her swept away by the moment. Your smoothness will be the big clue here. Emulate the River Smoothly Rolling Downhill. Let the flow from the mountains to the sea be uninterrupted by stops, starts and sharp turns. You’ll need to think of the right excuses to move further in your seduction. This is where your creativity will be paramount.

If you have the privilege of having a Jacuzzi at home or a sauna or a steam bath, these are excellent “innocent excuses” to follow the path of least resistance. These are the type of things you have to think of in advance in order to improve your odds. I suggest you brainstorm some ideas with your partner to come up with some excellent ideas so you can make sure your seduction follows the path of least resistance.

Undress for Success

Perhaps the trickiest element of seduction is undressing. You have to take into consideration that women feel more attractive dressed than undressed. Even supermodels have the tendency to think they’re too fat; their boobs are too small, their butt too wobbly or something of this sort! With another woman in the room, she might feel even more uncomfortable. The discomfort of revealing her body must be eased before anything else can occur.

Suzy Bauer

If you want to know more about threesome sex go to:

www.threesomepickupartist.com , www.stepbystepthreesome.com

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/dos-and-donts-the-night-of-a-threesome-252079.html

About the Author

Suzy Bauer is the bestselling author of Threesome Sex Books.
To find more information about his natural method to
improve your threesome sex life visit:www.stepbystepthreesome.com

Relationship Advice for Those Who Think All Men or Women Are the Same

Author: Jack Ito

If you are like many women who seem to experience the same problems with men from relationship to relationship, you are probably wondering if all men are the same. You have probably heard many times that "all men want the same thing." Some women even come to detest men because of their experiences. Many men think the same about women.

But, if all men really want the same thing, then how do we account for successful relationships? Are they because the women in those relationships are less concerned with men's behavior and so put up with more? Actually, quite the opposite. The women in those relationships have a high self-regard and would not allow their partner to mistreat them.

In fact, all men and women need the same things. We have survival needs such as those for air, shelter, water, food, etc. We also have emotional needs such as to love, feel loved, feel important, feel secure, and to feel like we belong. And sexual desire is not unique to men.

Some men have learned to get these needs met by being subservient, some by being dominant and some by being jerks Each of these kinds of behaviors attracts a different kind of woman. The reason for this is that some women have also learned to get their needs met by being subservient, dominant, outrageous, etc. Why else do you think they would behave this way?

What kind of man do you think a passive woman is attracted to--a domineering man, of course. Not because she likes his arrogant and controlling behavior, but because she knows how to be a partner for such a man. She knows how to get what she needs from such a man, even if at the same time she hates her relationship. She cannot stand him, but she will never leave him.

When these matched relationships do break up, both the man and woman find new partners who similarly match and thus repeat the same patterns in the new relationship. Having the same experience with men and women relationship after relationship, they conclude that all men and all women are the same.

These people think that their only hope lies in finding a man or woman who is exceptional and rare. They see good men or women as 1 in 1000. All the while, they are surrounded by men and women who are quite different from their usual partners. But, their attraction for these people is just not there. Equally, these people are not attracted to them. A man who is not domineering will have little interest in a passive woman.

For single people, the answer does not lie in finding a "rare" 1 in 1000 man or woman. For women, the answer lies in learning to become more like the women who have healthy relationships. They will then be attracted to healthy men and repelled by the unhealthy ones--a reversal of their usual trend. The healthy men will also be attracted to them. What seemed to be rare before will become abundant for the woman who has learned to live in a better way. The same answer is true for single men.

For people who are already in a relationship that they hate, the answer is neither to breakup nor to put up with the relationship. Breakup would just lead to continuing the same pattern with yet another person. Putting up with the relationship will just keep you miserable. Just as for single men and women, working with someone like a relationship coach will help you to change your way of relating to your partner. Your partner's bad ways of getting what he or she wants will no longer work, but they will still be able to get what they need by adjusting to your new behavior. You change, they change, and the relationship changes. In this way one person changing his or herself really can change his or her relationship for the good and break out of a negative pattern and into a positive one.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/relationship-advice-for-those-who-think-all-men-or-women-are-the-same-510372.html

About the Author

Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. For 14 years he has helped more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships.
Get your relationship unstuck with the Relationship Coach newsletter and a Free Relationship Planning Guide. Visit the Relationship Coach Blog for daily relationship advice.

Do Opposites Attract? Compatibility and your Myers Briggs Personality Type

Author: Molly Owens

It's the classic story of the Odd Couple: she's the life of the party, while he gives any excuse to leave early. He's orderly and fastidious, while she leaves milk on the counter and clothes on the floor. He's logical, she's emotional; he's from Mars, she's from Venus. Much is made of the idea that opposites attract, and we all know at least one of these "odd couples" that makes a relationship work despite major differences. But is it true that opposites attract? And more importantly, what makes for the most successful relationship-a stimulating opposite or a comforting soulmate?

Many researchers have set out to answer this question. In order to classify their subjects' differences, compatibility researchers often use Myers-Briggs personality typing. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is the most common personality inventory in the world, and provides an easy-to-understand basis for studies on compatibility. The Myers-Briggs theory asserts that our fundamental differences in thinking, making decisions, and organizing our lives can be understood by measuring our preferences in four key areas:

• Extraversion/Introversion: This scale refers to where you focus attention and get your energy. Extraverts are focused on the external world and other people, and are energized by external stimulation and interaction with others. Introverts are more focused on their internal world, thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and get energy from spending time in solitary activity or quiet reflection.

• Sensing/Intuition: This scale refers to how you prefer to take in information. Sensors gather information in a very concrete, detail-oriented, and factual way. They tend to be practical and oriented to the present moment. Intuitives tend to be more abstract in their perceptions, and tend to think more about meaning, connections, and possibilities. Intuitives are often more imaginative than realistic.

• Thinking/Feeling: This scale refers to how you prefer to make decisions. Thinkers prefer decisions that are based on facts or data, and like to reason things out logically. Feelers prefer decisions that are consistent with their values and help to build harmonious relationships.

• Judging/Perceiving: This scale refers to how you prefer to organize your life. Judgers tend to prefer structure, schedules, and plans. They like clear expectations and feel accomplishment from completing tasks. Perceivers prefer an open-ended, spontaneous and flexible existence. They enjoy feeling that their options are open and that there are many possibilities available.

When researchers have analyzed couples' satisfaction, the factors most associated with happy couples were those that we've heard all along: good communication, common values and interests, and the ability to work out disagreements calmly and openly. But when researchers Barbara Barron-Tieger and Paul Tieger studied the Myers-Briggs personality type of several hundred couples, they found that the more type preferences a couple had in common, the more satisfied they were with their communication. While opposites may attract, it seems to be easier to maintain a relationship with someone who is similar to yourself.

However, this does not mean that you must find your exact type in order to build a good relationship. In fact, the most common pairing is between two people with just two type preferences in common (for instance, ISTP with ESTJ). Researchers have also found that some type preferences are more important than others when determining compatibility, and that some types are especially likely to clash.

In a 1981 study, researcher Ruth Sherman found that differences on the Extraversion/Introversion scale caused the most conflict in long-term relationships. In particular, combinations of Extraverted women with Introverted men caused frustration, perhaps because this dynamic goes against our traditional concept of the man being the more expressive and dominant partner. However, this effect was found in a study that is over 20 years old. As we become more progressive in our relationships and more open to equality, differences in this preference area may become less important.

The Sensing/Intuition scale seems to play a key role in attraction. Studies by Isabel Briggs Myers and others have found that people tend to be drawn to partners who share their preference on this scale. When couples have a Sensing or Intuitive preference in common, they will tend to view the world in a fundamentally similar way. Couples with the same preference on this scale may find it easier to understand each other, and are more likely to feel they are speaking the same language.

While similarity on the Sensing/Intuition scale may determine attraction, long-term compatibility appears to be much more complicated. The last three scales-S/N, T/F, and J/P-play a complex role in determining compatibility. These scales have a fundamental effect on the way we communicate and prioritize our lives, and so have the potential to cause misunderstandings, miscommunication, and opposing goals in relationships where preference differences exist.

When researchers Tieger and Barron-Tieger examined couples on the S/N, T/F, and J/P scales, they found that, in general, more similar couples experienced a higher rate of satisfaction with their partner. However, there were some combinations that worked well despite having fewer preferences in common, and some pairings of similar partners that weren't quite so successful. Some examples:

• Sensing Judgers (ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ) have a satisfaction rate of 79% when paired with other Sensing Judgers. These types tend to be traditionalists who value and honor their commitments.

• Intuitive Feelers (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ) have a satisfaction rate of 73% when paired with each other. Intuitive Feelers tend to place a high value on relationships and are the most likely of all the types to devote themselves to healthy relationships and open communication.

• Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving types (INFP and ENFP) had a satisfaction rate of only 42% when they were paired with Sensing, Thinking, Judging types (ESTJ and ISTJ), although this was one of the more common pairings among the couples studied. The NFP partner is likely to feel that their partner is conservative and stifling, while the STJ partner may find their partner unpredictable and unreliable.

• When partners have a Feeling preference in common, this can compensate for differences in other areas, perhaps due to Feelers' inclination to spend more time and energy on their relationships in general. Specifically, Sensing, Feeling Judgers (ESFJ and ISFJ) reported an 86% satisfaction rate when paired with Intuitive, Feeling Perceivers (ENFP and INFP). They had a 67% satisfaction rate when coupled with Intuitive, Feeling Judgers (ENFJ and INFJ).

• In some cases, having similar type preferences did not mean higher satisfaction. Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving types (ISTP and ESTP) had only a 33% satisfaction rate when paired with other STPs. The researchers theorized that this is due to their findings that ESTPs and ISTPs are the least concerned of all the types with the quality of their relationships.

• Similarly, Intuitive Thinking types (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ) have only a 59% satisfaction rate when paired with another Intuitive Thinker. These types tend to be among the most critical of their partners and may be harder to please in general.

Additional research, led by Nancy Marioles, PhD. at St. Mary's University, provides important data on marriage patterns among the types.

• Some types are more likely to marry a person of their exact same type; this includes male INFPs, INFJs and INTPs and female ENFJs and INFJs.

• There are two combinations where opposites seem to attract: ESTJ men with INFP women, and ESTP men with INFJ women. However, this may be due in part to the fact that these two types of men are also the most likely to be married multiple times.

• Some types showed greater partner dissatisfaction in general. Women married to INTP men had the highest level of dissatisfaction, at 31%. INTP is one of the least common types in the population, and INTPs may find it especially important to find a like-minded partner.

We can see that overall, couples find more satisfaction when paired with a similar partner. However, researchers stress that in all of their findings, communication, common interests, and the quality of the couple's friendship were the most crucial factors in determining relationship success. While it may be easier to achieve these goals with a partner who is similar to you, it is absolutely possible even when significant differences exist. When couples make an effort to understand and appreciate their differences, they can turn what might be a problem or source of conflict into an asset for their partnership.

Couples with personality differences who find ways to support and understand each other often find their relationships especially rewarding. Partners with type differences are able to stimulate and challenge each other, and will learn from each other in a way that similar partners cannot. They can also make more effective teams because they are able to notice and compensate for each other's blind spots. Recognizing how your partner is thinking and appreciating the value of his or her perspective, whether or not it agrees with yours, is crucial to a successful relationship.

While compatibility research can be interesting and informative, it is important to remember that every relationship is individual, and every couple can learn better communication skills. When it comes to relationship satisfaction, the big three factors-communication, trust, and respect-can be achieved by any type combination.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/do-opposites-attract-compatibility-and-your-myers-briggs-personality-type-263482.html

About the Author

Molly Owens holds a B.A in Psychology and has completed graduate work in counseling. She founded PersonalityDesk to provide Myers Briggs personality tests and career tests online. Learn how to take the Myers Briggs Type Indicator test online at PersonalityDesk.com.

Romance in Words: Quotes of Love

Author: Paul Turner

So, when is the last time you saw a book claiming to be full of romance and love quotes? They aren't hard to find, and it's for a simple reason: there have been countless memorable romance quotes uttered and written throughout the centuries, and the greatest, most famous love quotes are often recorded and repeated for years and years. There's just something about romance that make couples feel good about themselves and their relationships.

But what if I told you that all of those famous romance quotes you find in books and on the Internet really aren't the greatest or most romantic words at all? While it's fine to look at history for inspiration from the most quoted words of romance, in fact the most consequential romantic love quotes are the ones that you and your lover say to each other on a daily basis. I know, I know: sometimes it seems like the daily things you do and say in the course of your relationship are extremely mundane and run-of-the-mill. But believe me, the inspiration for famous romantic movies and novels is found in equally commonplace relationships!

It really doesn't matter if the romantic words you say to each other in your relationship are the kind of poetic quality as the love quotes in romance novels or on the big screen. Literature and movie scripts often overdo things, and if you said some of the love quotes from Shakespear to your sweetheart, it would probably get you some pretty strange looks. What really matters is if you make sure your feelings and respect for your lover are made apparent every day in the words you speak to them.

Even if your most romantic love quotes don't go beyond "I love you," those three words hold more significance to you and your sweetheart than all of the romance novels and movies in the world. What matters is not the actual love quotes that you use, but rather the romantic sentiments, feelings and actions that are behind them. How you show your romance is far more significant to your relationship than the words you use to communicate those feelings.

The next time you read a romance novel or watch a romance movie, don't get jealous or feel inadequate when you hear amazing love quotes from the characters. Those lovers are not real people, but you and your significant other are. The love quotes you utter to each other are far more important to your relationship. Don't judge your own romance by what other couple on the screen or in books say to each other; instead, judge the success of your relationship be how happy you and your sweetheart really are!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/romance-in-words-quotes-of-love-360462.html

About the Author

Romance Tracker is a website dedicated to showcasing old-fashioned romance in modern relationships.