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Do You Wish For A More Satisfying And Fulfilling Marriage Relationship?

Author: Calle Zorro

What value, benefit, and blessing does your spouse gain from being with you?

What is it that you bring to your spouse that really augments, enhances, and improves their life?

What do you offer your spouse that is significant and meaningful to them?

What about the other way around...

What value, benefit, and blessing do you gain from being with your spouse?

How does your spouse augment, enhance, and improve your life?

What does your spouse share with you that's significant and meaningful to you?

Sadly, for too many people, their marriage relationship is really nothing more than a "boarding arrangement"...two humans helping each other survive...two people pooling their resources and splitting costs...two friends helping each other with chores and responsibilities...two roommates filling in or standing in for each other when needed.

And, while it is good to have someone standing with you in this manner, it is not enough to satisfy and fulfill a person. If it was, people would just continue living with their brothers and sisters or they would continue to "dorm" with their guy friends or gal friends.

But, it is not enough...people want more...they thought they were getting more when they married...and too often, they end up with nothing more...sometimes even less...than what they had before they married.

How and why does this happen more often than not?

It happens BECAUSE of how each person RELATES to the other. Too frequently, the way people RELATE is based on:

1. Ignorance - primarily, this is a lack of understanding about the opposite sex but it can also be other forms of ignorance such as poor people skills.

2. Selfishness - where a person cares only about their self and their interests, projects, and happiness.

3. Insecurity - fear that causes a person to shut-down and close-up which distances them from their companion.

4. Entitlement - the belief that my spouse should just give me whatever I want with little to no effort or contribution on my part.

5. Laziness - the knowledge that one should and could relate to their spouse in a better way but lacking the desire or motivation to do so.

Without fail, these kinds of RELATING will assuredly drain the very life out of a relationship...draining it of respect, appreciation, attraction, honor, adventure, passion, and fun...leaving people in the "boarding arrangement" that is so unfulfilling and unsatisfying to them.

Soon, bitterness, resentment, and anger begin to build because people feel stuck and trapped. They have children and other long-term obligations and responsibilities that ethically and morally "locks" them into their "boarding arrangement".

But, how come so many people can't seem to fix their marriage relationship?

They can't because they are so actively engaged in pride, ego, stubbornness, resentment, anger, bitterness, hatred, and other negative-emotions that it's easier for them to either distance themselves from their spouse and "live" in an imaginary / pretend / fantasy world...or to step out and seek affection, intimacy, sex, fun, and adventure with an outside person.

What many people don't realize is that there are easy ways to "save face" and let go of pride, ego, and negative-emotions so that a person can do the "right thing" and create the happy, satisfying, fulfilling marriage relationship of their dreams with the spouse they already have.

Having said that, some people don't want to have the relationship of their dreams with their current spouse. They WANT it to be ANOTHER person. Well, that's the pride, ego, and negative-emotions that's driving that kind of response. And, here's what such a person should know: your unhappiness is INSIDE of you and will REMAIN WITH YOU...no matter who the other person in your life is. Your unhappiness will continue wreaking havoc in YOUR life UNTIL you learn how to rise above pride, ego, and negative-emotions.

Actually, your situation will only get worse for you because each new person you move to will only ADD TO the unhappiness that's inside of you.

So, a person must learn to conquer the pride, ego, and negative emotions that block them from the satisfying, fulfilling marriage they so want...they must learn how to relate with their spouse in a way that produces the marriage satisfaction and fulfillment they so strongly desire...they must get the deep-level insight into their spouse...such that with this knowledge (versus ignorance) their marriage relationship is forevermore more satisfying and fulfilling.

Copyright 2010, Article by Calle Zorro of HusbandWifeHelp.com

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/do-you-wish-for-a-more-satisfying-and-fulfilling-marriage-relationship-2165796.html

About the Author

Would you like to zap away everything that's unhappy and unpleasant from your marriage?  Would you like to start afresh and anew...remaking your marriage into the wonderful relationship it's supposed to be?  Would you like to get the marriage you thought you were getting when you first got married?  Whether you need a marriage tune-up, a marriage makeover, or a marriage miracle, and especially, if you've sought marriage counseling or marriage help before and it didn't work, go here:  www.HusbandWifeHelp.com

Healthy Relationship, Healthy Self: Build a Stronger Connection Through Self-intimacy

Author: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.

Intimacy is all about connection--the feeling that you and your partner are kindred spirits. The hallmark of a healthy marriage or relationship is feeling close and attuned to your partner, but maintaining this connection isn't always easy. Therefore, finding ways to enhance intimacy is a priority for all couples.

Self-intimacy: A prerequisite to interpersonal intimacy

You are probably in many different relationships: with acquaintances, friends, family, coworkers, to name a few. When you think about the relationships in your life, does your relationship with yourself ever come to mind? Probably not, yet this relationship is central to all of your other relationships.

Self-intimacy is the experience of feeling connected to all of yourself--the parts of yourself you naturally embrace as well as the parts you wish didn't exist. This connection allows you to feel grounded--giving you an emotional center that anchors your experiences. This anchor has an important place in your relationship.

To get a better understanding of your relationship with yourself, reflect on the following questions: "How do I feel about myself? What do I like about myself? Dislike? Hate? Which parts of myself do I find easy to accept? Which parts make me feel uneasy or conflicted?" Your answers to these questions reflect the type of intimate relationship you have with yourself.

Self-Estrangement: A block to interpersonal intimacy

Unfortunately, you may not have access to important parts of yourself. Why? Because you can dislike a part (or parts) of yourself so intensely that you deny its existence. Your denial doesn't mean, however, that these parts do not surface in your relationship--they usually seek expression. When you ignore parts of yourself, you've left the realm of self-intimacy (a connection to yourself) and have entered the world of self-estrangement (a disconnection from yourself).

At one time or another we've all denied certain truths about ourselves, maybe with little consequence--truths that would make us feel vulnerable or ashamed, desperate or inadequate. However, when you're in a relationship, the consequences of self-estrangement are always significant. Why? Because you can never fully hide from your spouse or partner.

When self-intimacy is the norm, you'll be fully present and emotionally available to your partner. When self-estrangement rules your inner world, you will remain disconnected from yourself and your partner. Your relationship is robbed of intimacy whenever you close off aspects of yourself to your partner.

Self-estrangement in action:

The husband who cannot be vulnerable with his wife is self-estranged--he denies his vulnerable self. A wife who minimizes her outbursts is self-estranged--she denies her anger. The girlfriend who ignores her jealousy is self-estranged--she denies her insecurities.

For the last ten years, Chris has worked almost nonstop to become a successful attorney. His driven nature has served him well professionally and he recently made partner at his New York City law firm. To his dismay, Chris's work-related success has always eluded him in his personal relationships.

Chris complains that he often feels distant in his marriage, despite his wife Kendra's encouragement to be more open and share his feelings. Chris is estranged from any emotions that make him feel "weak" or vulnerable. It's his inability to connect with these parts of himself that continues to block intimacy in his marriage.

Chris's first step in breaking out of this self-estrangement pattern is to honestly assess his relationship with himself--in particular, the parts of himself that he wished didn't exist.

Are you ready to assess yourself?

Rate yourself and your relationship intimacy:

Using a scale from one (no intimacy) to ten (very satisfying levels of intimacy), rate the intimacy in your marriage or relationship.

If your rating is relatively high (8 or higher), than you probably don't struggle with self-estrangement. If your rating is relatively low (4 or lower), self-estrangement may be standing in the way of a deeper connection with your partner.

To help determine the impact that your level of self-intimacy has on your marriage or relationship, now rate yourself on the self-intimacy/self-estrangement continuum below:

Self-Intimacy-----------------------------------------------------Self-Estrangement

Pick a spot on this continuum that reflects how connected (or disconnected) you feel to yourself. Try to think about how self-connected you feel in general, since this may shift for you, depending on circumstances. If the spot you choose is closer to the self-intimacy end of the continuum, this means you feel grounded and are able to share yourself fully with your partner; if your spot is closer to the self-estrangement end, you feel disconnected and are unable to share yourself fully with your partner.

Rating yourself can feel a little daunting, so give yourself enough time to adequately reflect on these issues. If it does feel like self-estrangement is holding you (and your relationship) back from achieving the intimacy you desire, speak with someone who can give you support around this issue (your partner, a trusted friend or family member, a counselor). You've already taken an important step by assessing your level of self-intimacy.

Are you ready to build a stronger, more intimate relationship?

To receive FREE monthly tips on how to build the relationship of your dreams, visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro's Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship" and "Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue before your arguments control you."

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/healthy-relationship-healthy-self-build-a-stronger-connection-through-selfintimacy-357973.html

About the Author

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship coach and psychologist who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich is cofounder of LifeTalk Coaching, an Internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.

Relationship Advice for Those Who Think All Men or Women Are the Same

Author: Jack Ito

If you are like many women who seem to experience the same problems with men from relationship to relationship, you are probably wondering if all men are the same. You have probably heard many times that "all men want the same thing." Some women even come to detest men because of their experiences. Many men think the same about women.

But, if all men really want the same thing, then how do we account for successful relationships? Are they because the women in those relationships are less concerned with men's behavior and so put up with more? Actually, quite the opposite. The women in those relationships have a high self-regard and would not allow their partner to mistreat them.

In fact, all men and women need the same things. We have survival needs such as those for air, shelter, water, food, etc. We also have emotional needs such as to love, feel loved, feel important, feel secure, and to feel like we belong. And sexual desire is not unique to men.

Some men have learned to get these needs met by being subservient, some by being dominant and some by being jerks Each of these kinds of behaviors attracts a different kind of woman. The reason for this is that some women have also learned to get their needs met by being subservient, dominant, outrageous, etc. Why else do you think they would behave this way?

What kind of man do you think a passive woman is attracted to--a domineering man, of course. Not because she likes his arrogant and controlling behavior, but because she knows how to be a partner for such a man. She knows how to get what she needs from such a man, even if at the same time she hates her relationship. She cannot stand him, but she will never leave him.

When these matched relationships do break up, both the man and woman find new partners who similarly match and thus repeat the same patterns in the new relationship. Having the same experience with men and women relationship after relationship, they conclude that all men and all women are the same.

These people think that their only hope lies in finding a man or woman who is exceptional and rare. They see good men or women as 1 in 1000. All the while, they are surrounded by men and women who are quite different from their usual partners. But, their attraction for these people is just not there. Equally, these people are not attracted to them. A man who is not domineering will have little interest in a passive woman.

For single people, the answer does not lie in finding a "rare" 1 in 1000 man or woman. For women, the answer lies in learning to become more like the women who have healthy relationships. They will then be attracted to healthy men and repelled by the unhealthy ones--a reversal of their usual trend. The healthy men will also be attracted to them. What seemed to be rare before will become abundant for the woman who has learned to live in a better way. The same answer is true for single men.

For people who are already in a relationship that they hate, the answer is neither to breakup nor to put up with the relationship. Breakup would just lead to continuing the same pattern with yet another person. Putting up with the relationship will just keep you miserable. Just as for single men and women, working with someone like a relationship coach will help you to change your way of relating to your partner. Your partner's bad ways of getting what he or she wants will no longer work, but they will still be able to get what they need by adjusting to your new behavior. You change, they change, and the relationship changes. In this way one person changing his or herself really can change his or her relationship for the good and break out of a negative pattern and into a positive one.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/relationship-advice-for-those-who-think-all-men-or-women-are-the-same-510372.html

About the Author

Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. For 14 years he has helped more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships.
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Healthy Relationship Program: Set Goals and Transform your Relationship

Author: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.

Imagine your life without goals. That’s right: pretend you just wiped away every single goal imaginable—from the mundane sort like getting out of bed and brushing your teeth to the bigger variety, like making partner at the firm. I bet you can’t imagine it. Because without goals (the ones you consciously name and the ones you just carry out), our lives might feel like unstructured, amorphous stretches of time. Setting goals can direct, energize and motivate you. And meeting your goals is a tremendously rewarding experience.

Take a moment to jot down three goals that are important to you—things you want to achieve in your life.

Then think about which aspects of your life are most important to you—what you cherish most in life.

If you’re anything like the people I recently surveyed, then your goals include things like: making more money while working less, exercising more and losing weight (and keeping it off) and getting out of debt. Money and health topped the goal-setting list.

Then I asked these same individuals for a different type of list—a list of what they cherish most in life. Almost all discussed their relationship with their spouse or life partner. People and relationships topped the what’s-most-important-to-you list.

Relationship Goals are MIA:

Here’s what I find remarkable. The people I surveyed didn’t have any goals for what they cherish most in life—their relationship or marriage. When it comes to goal-setting, marriage is left at the curb. There’s a dangerous assumption lurking that a good relationship will take care of itself. The frequency of failed relationships tells us this assumption is dead wrong.

Your Relationship Roadmap: Create a vision

In order to create relationship goals, it’s important to have a vision that details the kind of spouse or partner you aspire to be as well as the type of relationship that is important to you and your partner—this picture should be consistent with your personal values. When your goals are out of sync with your values, you’ll find yourself stalled on the road to your relationship destination.

A set of relationship goals is a roadmap that lends direction to your relationship. If your relationship already meets your vision, then working to keep the relationship at this level can be your goal.

An exercise to help you create relationship goals:

Imagine that your partner has been hired to teach a class about you at UCLA. The syllabus is a written testament to the type of spouse or partner you’ve been throughout the history of your relationship. Not holding anything back, s/he will detail your strengths and weaknesses as a partner. The entire truth (as your partner sees it) will be unfurled for an eager audience motivated to learn all about you.

What do you imagine s/he will say about you?

Respond to this question as honestly as possible. If you find yourself resisting this exercise or focusing more on what you’d like your partner to say, you won’t establish any meaningful goals. Remember, this exercise is designed to help you take a realistic look at yourself as a partner, a necessary step in creating goals that will make a difference in your relationship or marriage. You will need to open yourself up to some truths that may sting. Take my word—it will be well worth it.

There’s relationship gold to be found in the gap:

There will be a gap between what you’d like your partner to convey in his/her lecture and what s/he would actually say. This gap contains valuable information that you’ll use to set up relationship goals. Keep in mind that establishing and reaching relationship goals means committing to changing your behavior. The focus should be on you and not what you believe your partner should do differently.

The guiding question is: How wide is this gap and what can you do to narrow it?

When you begin to take steps to answer this question, you start accumulating the information you need to create your relationship goals. Don’t rush this—it should be a process that you come back to over and over again.

Ready to discover more about relationship goal-setting and other practical ways to improve your relationship?

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/healthy-relationship-program-set-goals-and-transform-your-relationship-208066.html

About the Author

Find out how to create the relationship of your dreams: Sign up for the free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter at http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and immediately receive two FREE reports that will help you achieve your relationship potential.

Rich Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship.

Effective Relationship Advice Brings Your Marriage Life Back on Track!

Author: amar

Your marriage life may not go on smoothly forever. It is bound to face some turbulent times that put a question mark on the sustainability of the relationship itself. Relationship advice is what you can relay upon to save your relationship from turmoil. Naturally, there will be a lot of advice coming your way. But, every piece of advice may not be acceptable for you. So, looking for the right relationship advice that can resurrect your life is highly sought by couples nowadays.

There are countless instances where couples in deep emotional bonding for years decide to get separated from each other suddenly. The love and charm are gone and the beloved partners have nothing to do with each other. Here relationship advice comes into play. Whether you have recently broken up or you're in the midst of a divorce process or your ex-partner is already dating someone new, for more details visit to www.auto-cons.com there are few simple techniques that can fix your relationship and bring your deserted partner cheerfully back into your arms.

Human beings are not perfect. When two persons live together for years, there would be naturally some relationship problems between them. It is not your fault. Everybody encounters the same problem. People since the day of their birth develop different kinds of relationship with others. They come in and out of the relationships every now and then. But, people never strive to maintain their relationships or how to make them better. A relationship advice can make you aware of that fault.

According to relationship advice, we are never taught in our lives how to sustain a happy and healthy relationship. So, there is nothing surprising in committing some mistakes. However, there are some fatal mistakes that if we commit can slowly ruin the relationship and take your partner further away from you. These include seeking help from family and friends, promising your partner that you'll change, for more details visit to www.be-an-air-courier.com hoping that your relationship will automatically survive, attempting to reason with your partner etc.

The simple techniques that were mentioned earlier in the article can prove to be effective relationship advice. You can save yourself from expensive counseling and expensive divorce lawyers by adopting these techniques. To revive your relationship, you don't need to drag your partner into it. Introducing the shortest relationship repair guide ever created, Radomir Samardzic offers you one proven relationship advice instead of plenty. He has 7 years of experience in teaching people how to save their relationships without involving their partners. His book, aptly titled "The Relationship Saver" is a result of his rich experience. You can visit RelatioshipSaver.org to have more information and download the copy.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/effective-relationship-advice-brings-your-marriage-life-back-on-track-731842.html

About the Author

www.divorce-rebuild-your-life.com

www.dream-revealed.com

BE THE WOMAN WHO MEN WANT: A Q&A With The Relationship Doctor - Understanding the differences between men and women - How To Attract a Man

Author: Kathleen Falken

"How can I be the kind of woman that men really are looking for?"

Nearly all female clients asks me at some point, "WHAT DO MEN WANT?"

Most women work hard at trying to be the type of woman that their man. What men want and what they think they want are often two different things. A woman who puts her heart first and will always be more attractive than those are pleasers. Will a man get angry at times? Absolutely, but she instantly gains respect in his eyes and she becomes someone he can trust.

>> "Men want someone who puts her heart before their man. While most women fear this will lead to being labeled a 'witch' or worse, done properly it is the ultimate aphrodisiac." Bob Grant, author of "The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave."

Bob Grant, L.P.C. is widely recognized as a leading expert on relationship advice. As a professional Coach for over 16 years, he has helped hundreds of clients in goal achievement. In addition to his hit book, "The Woman Men Adore...And Never Want To Leave." Bob has also been a frequent quest on the radio program, "Marriage and Family Today," in Atlanta, Ga.

In His latest work, "The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave." Bob shows that when a woman learns to trust her heart, her natural ability to attract the man of her dreams is already in existence. It isn't something that she has to discover.

His approach focuses on each person's God given dreams and determines what they are or are not doing that is inhibiting the fulfillment of those desires.

With realistic encouragement and custom designed strategies, every client is equipped to achieve and repeat their successes...

Kathleen - Q. "You have said that it begins with understanding the differences between men and women."

Bob - A. "That men and women think differently is no great insight. I explain in The Woman the Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave that men by their nature are completive and do not want to compete with the woman of their choice. When a woman responds to a man in a confrontive style she inevitably causes her partner treat her like a man. What is more effective is to respond to him through her feelings. Once a woman learns that the male mind is by design competitive, she can then use this to her advantage and her partner's."

Q. "What is it that men adore in women?"

A. "Every man knows the meaning of this phrase, 'There's something about her.' While it means different things to different men it nevertheless brings a smile and a nod to every man. That something is a woman who not only likes herself, but also is at ease around men. When a woman is comfortable around a man it gives him the impression that she knows a secret worth pursuing. It causes her to appear to be somewhat of a challenge, which appeals to a basic human need, namely we long for what we don't think we can get and discard what comes easy.

"Every man longs for a woman who is self confident and yet vulnerable enough to be engaging with a man in conversation. Any woman that acts at ease around men will have an active social life or a devoted husband. "

Q. "You have said that husbands need to be trained?"

A. "Yes. One of the most misunderstood principles between husbands and wives is that of equality. Yes -- they both have the same values, but they derive them from different areas. Men really don't mind their wives influencing them, but what they hate is to be nagged in the process. Every man hopes his wife will somehow know how to influence him in a way that is non-threatening.

"Rather than consistently arguing, women must discover the power they already possess by responding to a man through her feelings. Sometimes men respond favorably while other times they become angrier. Regardless, when a woman persists she is destined to win for the simple reason that men cannot compete with a woman's feelings. This is why men prefer the intensity of battle to the exploration of their feelings. The end result is a husband who has been trained to respond to his wife's feelings..."

To learn more, go to  Kathleenfalken.com  or see WUVING.com

WUVING.com is loaded with tips and articles from the top experts in relationships.

Among them, are Michael Webb of OPRAH SHOW fame, whose articles have appeared in over 50 magazines such as Redbook and Woman's World.

And Kara Oh, best selling author of MARRIAGE MADE EASY, who has appeared on CBS News and FOX News and in magazines like Cosmopolitan and Woman's World.

And the people you can immediately reach are "men and women found locally and worldwide."

What WUVING.com has done is specialize in individual needs of people looking for real love and romance. You can meet people in our military, singles, people of all sizes and races -- in other words -- real people!

WUVING.com http://www.wuving.com

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/be-the-woman-who-men-want-a-qa-with-the-relationship-doctor-understanding-the-differences-between-men-and-women-how-to-attract-a-man-1006800.html

About the Author

Kathleen Falken has participated in psychic research, dreamstudy, marriage counseling and the practice of psychology for almost 40 years. See more of her articles at WUVING.com www.wuving.com

Relationship Advice: How To Recover From An Affair

Author: Steve Roberts

We never think that our relationship will experience the tragedy of an affair. No one ever expects it, but it happens to so many nonetheless. Often, both partners want to put the relationship back together again. Here's the blueprint for recovery.

The First Thing To Do Is To Go To A Couple's Therapist.

Yes, I am biased about this since I am a couple's therapist. But I've seen so many people come to me years after an affair and the wounds are still raw. The couple once thought they had put the affair behind them, but they really had not. Either the betrayed partner never really got over it, or the person who had the affair never really let go of the passion, attraction or dreams evoked by the affair.

So, do it right. Get some help. You're too close to the problem to see it clearly.

For The Person Who Feels Betrayed:

Your reactions may range from wanting to get the person back at your side at any cost, to kicking him or her out at the least provocation. And, you may cycle from one to the other throughout the recovery process.

You can figure on at least a year to really get over most of it. It is a grief process. You've had dreams crushed and trust shattered. It will take a long time. You need a resource network besides your partner. That means friends, family, minister, counselor. Grief is sadness, and often depression and anger mixed in. You need to hear repeatedly that your partner is sorry and really means it.

Your biggest problem is that your partner is going to believe that the two of you should just put it all behind you and get on with life. He or she will think that what happened really didn't matter that much, that relationship with you is what really matters, and now it is recognized. Your partner will want to just move on. You are not going to be able to do that. That's why you're going to need the help of that therapist.

For The Person Who Had The Affair:

You may think you know what your partner is going through, but you don't. You will typically get over the affair fairly quickly and expect your partner to do the same. It doesn't work this way.

If you're going to be successful you're going to have to learn to say "I'm sorry" on a daily basis, ad nauseum, for at least a year. It will be very trying for you because you just won't get it. You won't get how wounded your partner is, and how long the recovery is going to take. You won't want to take full responsibility for how much harm you've created. You're going to feel like it is all about beating up on and blaming you.

But you're going to have to learn to live with it all. It is called the consequences of your behavior. None of us like this very much. It is difficult. But it is the real deal. To be successful in this recovery you're going to have to shoulder the responsibility and really become a "big" person.What a challenge you face!

Trust:

Trust is merely my ability to predict your future behavior based on my observation of your past behavior. After an affair, trust has been ruined. Everything is brought into question. The partner who strayed needs to have the willingness to have all behavior now be totally transparent.

The only way to re-establish trust is to build up another large resevoir of past behavior that is trustworthy. The person who strayed always believes that trust should be re-established much more quickly than is actually possible.

The Outcome:

Many couples successfully overcome an affair and use it as a challenge for deeper growth together. Many do not. Many couples embrace the pain and mature as human beings. Many do not.

Many couples have two partners willing to put in the grit, perseverence and love necessary to make it work. Many have only one person willing to do so.

Successful recovery from an affair can be the hardest thing you will ever do in your lifetime. Are you up to it?

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/relationship-advice-how-to-recover-from-an-affair-6688.html

About the Author
Steve Roberts is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist sharing real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice. Get Insight & Wisdom for your Relationships at:
http://www.whatworksforcouples.com

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work for You

Author: Deborah Dixon

Long distance relationships can be just as successful as a relationship where the two people involved are together on a daily basis. Everyone is different and some adapt well to long distance relationships whereas others are unable to cope. It often comes down to your upbringing. Being raised in a close family where both parents were always about could mean that you won’t cope well to living a long way from your partner. Alternatively being brought up with only one parent or in a family where relatives were absent regularly, then you will probably handle a long distance relationship well. However a long distance relationship establishes it is down to both people involved to keep the relationship alive.

The two main factors in maintaining a healthy long distance relationships is, trust and communication. Without these your relationship will most certainly suffer. Trust pays a huge part in any relationship.  In a relationship without trust you usually have jealously. Trying to survive in a long distance relationship with jealousy and lack of trust is practically impossible. You will constantly be checking up on your partner, worrying about what they are doing and who they are doing things with. You may even find yourself being the partner being checked up on. Knowing your partner doesn’t trust you is disheartening, especially if you have given them no reason to do so. The last thing you want in a long distance relationship is interrogation; you need reassurance and affection instead.

Communication is vital for a long distance relationship to work. You must understand how each partner is feeling and try to resolve any issues. Ask your partner how they feel and ask about the future. Don’t be scared to ask questions, after all it is your relationship too. Knowing where you stand will help you to sort out your perspective for the future and prevent any confusion further down the line. Instead of assuming that you are exclusive to each other and that you will one day live together again or even for the first time, make sure you have discussed this, or you may find yourself waiting for that perfect relationship that just won’t happen.

During a long distance relationship make sure that you communicate on a regular basis, ideally on a daily basis. It isn’t always possible to talk on the phone everyday, but there are other ways to make contact. Send a text message, write a letter, send an email, send a recent photo and even send a present. Try to meet up as often as you can and once planned, stick to the arrangements. Sharing the same experience simultaneously is a great idea to make you feel closer, such as watching the same television programme or film; you can then discuss your viewings together afterwards. This is just one way to make it feel like you still have a connection together. Another idea is to stargaze at the same time, which in itself is romantic. Your aim is to keep the emotional connection alive and keep the relationship healthy.

Having a positive outlook on your long distance relationship will help you partner to stay positive and feel secure. If you are determined to make a long distance relationship work for you then there is no reason at all why distance between you and your partner can prevent your relationship from working; it is all about personal perspective, trust and good communication.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-make-a-long-distance-relationship-work-for-you-955484.html

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Deborah has been the head copy writer for Completely Free Dating for over 2 years offering help and advice to its members on all aspects of free dating. Completely Free Dating is a free online dating service for people living in the UK, with absolutely no charges to any member at any time for any service.

Clingy Girlfriend Or Wife? 13 Signs of an Unhealthy Or Codependent Relationship

Author: Michael Freeman

The image of the demanding woman being in control of the relationship is one that is popular and sometimes even comical in TV in film.  Just look at the popular American sitcom Everyone Loves Raymond: Ramyond is always at risk of getting into trouble with his wife.  However, sometimes being stuck in a relationship with a dramatic, demanding, clingy woman can be anything but funny.

The following signs indicate that you may be in an unhealthy codependent relationship with your partner:

• You must let her know where you are at all times
• You have to call multiple times a day
• You aren't allowed to have platonic female friends
• She resents your family for taking up your time
• You've discovered that she secretly checks your email, internet history, or social networking sites (Facebook, MySpace, etc.).
• She is extremely jealous
• She can't just let things go -- she insists on talking about "problems" for hours
• She always suspects you of cheating or doing something wrong, even if you've done nothing
• She's overly critical of how you act
• You feel as if you have to "walk on eggshells" around her
• Your friends warn you that you should not be tolerating her clingy, controlling behavior
• You can't speak your opinion because she always "freaks out" when you disagree
• When you try to break up, she threatens to harm herself

When you feel stuck in such a relationship, you might have opposing feelings: On one hand you love your partner and want to please her; on the other hand, you may have a nagging sense that you never wanted this life.  You may feel that your partner stands in the way of you living a fulfilling life.

It's your obligation to closely examine your situation.  Many people wish to leave their partners because they blame them for everything; when they finally leave, they realize that it wasn't only their partner that was causing the disruption, but their own issues as well.

That said, many men would be much better off by gathering the courage to leave a clingy, demanding, codependent partner (by the way, codependence always involves two people, but here I'm using it to describe a woman who is overly dependent on her man).  Though leaving may seem impossible at times, you can do it, regardless of your circumstances.

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Michael Freeman, M.A., helps women and men get UNSTUCK from unhappy relationships.  More free articles can be found at the break up blog.

Ebooks: Break Up Guide for Women Break Up Guide for Men

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/clingy-girlfriend-or-wife-13-signs-of-an-unhealthy-or-codependent-relationship-926854.html

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