Posts Tagged ‘marriage help’
February 19th, 2011 | 
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How to Get Wife Back and Develop a Stronger Relationship
Author: Michael Ingles
If your wife has left you let me first say how sorry I am for your pain. This is a very difficult time for you so I will be brief and to the point. There are proven steps you can take to start repairing your relationship to get your wife back.
List below are three that I would like to share that helped me.
How to Get Wife Back Step 1
At first you feel you must talk with your wife to explain yourself and try to make it right. Now is not the time to have those conversations. You need to give her space and allow time for you and her to cool down and get your head on straight.
Believe me the last thing you want to do is constantly call her begging her to come back. This will only make you look desperate and enforce her decision for leaving you in the first place.
Instead, give her two to four weeks without making any contact. If you have kids than obviously you cannot stay away for that long but let her know you will give her space.
For one thing this shows her you respect her and understand she needs time. Use this time to think about your marriage and what got you to this point. Is it something she did or you did? Is it something that you can fix?
Make a list and began working on the items you have control to change. Remember the way you were when you two fell in love and try to become more like that man.
Unfortunately majority of us get to comfortable in our marriage and stop doing many of the things that made our wife fall in love us like being romantic or something as simple as opening the car door for her.
Simple things like that may seem silly but to a woman they reconfirm to her that you see her as your princess someone you love and cherish. This is critical to keeping the spark ignited in your marriage.
How to Get Wife Back Step 2
Now that you have given her time to calm down and think about your marriage, it is time to work on getting your wife back.
Before you try to reconnect with her please take a moment to recheck yourself. Are you ready to speak calm and with confidence? If so than let's get her back...
Pick a time to call her when she may not be busy and can speak privately. Keep the conversation fun and don't bring up the issues from the past. This is not the time to have those discussions.
You want to keep the conversation short and remain calm. This will show her there is no threat talking to you and encourage her to have more conversations. Once you feel she is feeling comfortable speaking with you invite her to lunch. Lunch works better than dinner due to it is during the day and much shorter than dinner. She will feel less of a threat and more comfortable to accept your invitation.
Remember to stay calm and take it slow. You need to accept you are not going to get your wife back overnight. It will take time.
How to Get Wife Back Step 3
If things are going well now may be the time to use "The Instant Reconnect Technique". This is a very powerful technique that will trigger her subconscious to think you two are still together.
It works like this. When you are having lunch or dinner gently reach over to her and do the imaginary food particle wipe like she has something on her face.
This works extremely well because only people in some kind of loving relationship do that. So this registers with her subconscious mind that you two are still in love with one another.
Word of advice...don't do this until you see she is comfortable being with you again. It needs to feel natural.
These are just three steps to get you thinking and moving in the right direction to get your wife back. Depending on your situation you may benefit from more advanced techniques.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/how-to-get-wife-back-and-develop-a-stronger-relationship-1563135.html
About the Author
So ”How do I get my wife back?” First begin with the information above. This is a great starting point but you most likely will need to use advanced techniques. Rebuilding your marriage is touchy and the last thing you want to do is make matters worse.
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Posted in Get an ex back | 
Tags: Get Wife Back, how to get wife back, marriage help, repair marriage | 
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Emotional Affair: Have You Entered a Danger Zone?
Author: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.
You don't wake up one day and decide to have an affair. You're more likely to gradually enter into the arena of emotional infidelity—and many couples are surprised to discover that this slippery slope begins long before a physical affair is underway. Why is this? Someone starting an emotional affair often denies or minimizes the significance of what is happening ("It's just innocent flirting" or "We're just friends"). Denial allows the emotional affair to crest long before the implications of the affair are fully realized.
What is an emotional affair?
A sexual affair is easy to identify—you're either having sex with someone other than your spouse/partner, or you're not. An emotional affair isn't always that obvious. For instance, is offering emotional support to a coworker you find attractive crossing a line? Should you keep your distance from everyone you find charming? Is there such a thing as "innocent" flirting?
Don't allow these shades of grey to obscure the fact that there are clear warning signs that you are journeying down the treacherous path to an emotional affair. Often these signs have as much to do with your behavior as with your <feelings for another person.
Let's turn our attention to these danger zones.
10 Emotional affair danger zones:
1. You go out of your way to repeatedly "run into" this person. We all look forward to seeing people we enjoy—a particular friend or interesting colleague, for instance. If you're honest with yourself, however, you'll know the difference between a truly coincidental meeting and a "coincidence" that occurs because you stood around the office coffee machine for two hours (and you don't even drink coffee).
2. You say things to this person that you wouldn’t if your spouse/partner was standing next to you. This is an important litmus test to determine if the relationship is starting to cross the emotional affair boundary line.
3. You begin confiding in this person. When you confide in someone, you create a more intimate relationship by sharing information about yourself that isn't shared with just anyone. When you take someone in your confidence, you've elevated the relationship to "special" status.
4. The relationship becomes charged with a secretive, forbidden energy. This creates an "us" dynamic that separates the relationship from all others—the relationship is designated as unique because of its secretive nature. This also imbues the relationship with excitement and an element of danger (in direct contrast to the ho-hum energy of your current relationship).
5. When the kindle of an emotional affair is sparked, you begin to anticipate time spent with this person. Looking forward to spending time with someone other than your spouse isn't inherently wrong or dangerous. But when the foundation of an emotional affair is being poured, this anticipation causes you to feel a longing and level of excitement that should only exist in your marriage.
6. You put on your "best face" to impress this person. When you begin to have feelings for another person, you go out of your way to be charming, funny, sympathetic… The best "you" begins to emerge and you deliberately act in ways to enhance your appeal. A side note: These changes usually mirror how you behaved when you first dated your spouse or partner.
7. You begin having problem-discussions with each other—in other words, you start to share your deepest struggles and intimate longings with this person. These conversations create a powerful no-one-else-understands-me-like-you-do bond.
8. S/he becomes the "go-to person" to share all important news with. While it is human nature to share the events of your life with the people most important to you, once you've entered the gateway of an emotional affair, your spouse/partner becomes less central in your emotional world as your give more of yourself to another person.
9. Before you know it, you can't help comparing the new person to your spouse/partner—and it should be no surprise that your partner fails to make the grade. In your mind's eye (and in the illusion of perfect love), all the differences that stand out for you indicate that this new person will be a superior mate and give you the happiness that has eluded you.
10. You begin lying to your spouse/partner. When your partner asks about your day, you omit any reference to this person (or you go out of your way to minimize his/her significance). This is a clear indication that you have something to hide and is often the first warning sign that an emotional affair is simmering.
If you see yourself entering several of the above emotional danger zones, it will be important to hit the pause button on this new relationship before it's too late. The allure of an emotional affair can create the illusion that perfect love exists and is right around the corner—that the only obstacle to real happiness is your current marriage or relationship.
Before you end up risking everything, take a few deep breaths. Then start to take stock of yourself and your marriage/relationship to see what is missing—becoming emotionally involved with someone else is often just another hurdle to the effort and work that committed relationships require.
To discover more relationship tips, visit www.StrengthenYourRelationship.com and sign up for Dr. Nicastro's FREE Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.
As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship" and "Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue before your arguments control you."
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/emotional-affair-have-you-entered-a-danger-zone-559643.html
About the Author
Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach with over fifteen years experience helping individuals and couples build stronger relationships. His relationship advice has been featured in numerous national magazines.
Posted in emotional affairs |
Tags: affair, emotional affair, marriage advice, marriage help, relationship advice, Relationship Help |
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Do You Wish For A More Satisfying And Fulfilling Marriage Relationship?
Author: Calle Zorro
What value, benefit, and blessing does your spouse gain from being with you?
What is it that you bring to your spouse that really augments, enhances, and improves their life?
What do you offer your spouse that is significant and meaningful to them?
What about the other way around...
What value, benefit, and blessing do you gain from being with your spouse?
How does your spouse augment, enhance, and improve your life?
What does your spouse share with you that's significant and meaningful to you?
Sadly, for too many people, their marriage relationship is really nothing more than a "boarding arrangement"...two humans helping each other survive...two people pooling their resources and splitting costs...two friends helping each other with chores and responsibilities...two roommates filling in or standing in for each other when needed.
And, while it is good to have someone standing with you in this manner, it is not enough to satisfy and fulfill a person. If it was, people would just continue living with their brothers and sisters or they would continue to "dorm" with their guy friends or gal friends.
But, it is not enough...people want more...they thought they were getting more when they married...and too often, they end up with nothing more...sometimes even less...than what they had before they married.
How and why does this happen more often than not?
It happens BECAUSE of how each person RELATES to the other. Too frequently, the way people RELATE is based on:
1. Ignorance - primarily, this is a lack of understanding about the opposite sex but it can also be other forms of ignorance such as poor people skills.
2. Selfishness - where a person cares only about their self and their interests, projects, and happiness.
3. Insecurity - fear that causes a person to shut-down and close-up which distances them from their companion.
4. Entitlement - the belief that my spouse should just give me whatever I want with little to no effort or contribution on my part.
5. Laziness - the knowledge that one should and could relate to their spouse in a better way but lacking the desire or motivation to do so.
Without fail, these kinds of RELATING will assuredly drain the very life out of a relationship...draining it of respect, appreciation, attraction, honor, adventure, passion, and fun...leaving people in the "boarding arrangement" that is so unfulfilling and unsatisfying to them.
Soon, bitterness, resentment, and anger begin to build because people feel stuck and trapped. They have children and other long-term obligations and responsibilities that ethically and morally "locks" them into their "boarding arrangement".
But, how come so many people can't seem to fix their marriage relationship?
They can't because they are so actively engaged in pride, ego, stubbornness, resentment, anger, bitterness, hatred, and other negative-emotions that it's easier for them to either distance themselves from their spouse and "live" in an imaginary / pretend / fantasy world...or to step out and seek affection, intimacy, sex, fun, and adventure with an outside person.
What many people don't realize is that there are easy ways to "save face" and let go of pride, ego, and negative-emotions so that a person can do the "right thing" and create the happy, satisfying, fulfilling marriage relationship of their dreams with the spouse they already have.
Having said that, some people don't want to have the relationship of their dreams with their current spouse. They WANT it to be ANOTHER person. Well, that's the pride, ego, and negative-emotions that's driving that kind of response. And, here's what such a person should know: your unhappiness is INSIDE of you and will REMAIN WITH YOU...no matter who the other person in your life is. Your unhappiness will continue wreaking havoc in YOUR life UNTIL you learn how to rise above pride, ego, and negative-emotions.
Actually, your situation will only get worse for you because each new person you move to will only ADD TO the unhappiness that's inside of you.
So, a person must learn to conquer the pride, ego, and negative emotions that block them from the satisfying, fulfilling marriage they so want...they must learn how to relate with their spouse in a way that produces the marriage satisfaction and fulfillment they so strongly desire...they must get the deep-level insight into their spouse...such that with this knowledge (versus ignorance) their marriage relationship is forevermore more satisfying and fulfilling.
Copyright 2010, Article by Calle Zorro of HusbandWifeHelp.com
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/do-you-wish-for-a-more-satisfying-and-fulfilling-marriage-relationship-2165796.html
About the Author
Would you like to zap away everything that's unhappy and unpleasant from your marriage? Would you like to start afresh and anew...remaking your marriage into the wonderful relationship it's supposed to be? Would you like to get the marriage you thought you were getting when you first got married? Whether you need a marriage tune-up, a marriage makeover, or a marriage miracle, and especially, if you've sought marriage counseling or marriage help before and it didn't work, go here: www.HusbandWifeHelp.com
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: Do-It-Yourself, mariage, marrage, marraige, marriag, marriage advice, marriage counseling, marriage counselling, marriage enhancement, marriage help, marriage support, relationship advice, relationship enhancement, Relationship Help, relationship support |
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Divorce - Good or Bad
Author: David Bishop
It is a matter of great discussion that whether divorce is good or bad. There are groups of people who criticize the concept of divorce and another group is with the concept of divorce. Well, its a matter of debate, but there are few things which is always indefinite about divorce. Lets have a glance over situations when people opt for divorce.
Divorce is a complex situation where a couple decides to end their relation legally and sets them free from every responsibilities for each other. The situation arises when every equation of life be it physical, mental, and emotional becomes inequal for both the partners. They think that its better to end the relation rather than facing the troublesome situation for long time.
There may be several possible reasons behind divorce, some good reasons like abuse by spouse, unfaithfulness, infidelity, lack of physical pleasure, and lack of confidence between each other. There are some bad reasons also where greed or selfishness of any of the partner comes between the relation, these bad reasons can be an extramarital affair, feeling of boreness with spouse, unhappiness with the way your relation is going due to some professional, personal or financial reasons, or problem with in-laws.
No matter what is the reason behind divorce, the result is always traumatic for both people involved. In most of the cases, people understand the mistake committed by taking divorce in future. They regret the time when they took such stupid life vanishing decisions. They come to know the need, value and integrity of their spouse, only after leaving them. People with weak heart and less will power often go to a state of mental stress and trauma. In case they are having children, then life of kids are vanished in this conflict between their parents. Their childhood, innocence, studies, and part of fun in their life are spoiled for personal interests of their parents. The condition of these kids become miserable and none other than their parents are responsible for such a bad situation of kids.
So, the ill effects of a divorce influenced by personal selfishness is endless.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/divorce-good-or-bad-400145.html
About the Author
For more information visit:- http://www.divorcerecoveryseminar.com/
Healthy Relationship, Healthy Self: Build a Stronger Connection Through Self-intimacy
Author: Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.
Intimacy is all about connection--the feeling that you and your partner are kindred spirits. The hallmark of a healthy marriage or relationship is feeling close and attuned to your partner, but maintaining this connection isn't always easy. Therefore, finding ways to enhance intimacy is a priority for all couples.
Self-intimacy: A prerequisite to interpersonal intimacy
You are probably in many different relationships: with acquaintances, friends, family, coworkers, to name a few. When you think about the relationships in your life, does your relationship with yourself ever come to mind? Probably not, yet this relationship is central to all of your other relationships.
Self-intimacy is the experience of feeling connected to all of yourself--the parts of yourself you naturally embrace as well as the parts you wish didn't exist. This connection allows you to feel grounded--giving you an emotional center that anchors your experiences. This anchor has an important place in your relationship.
To get a better understanding of your relationship with yourself, reflect on the following questions: "How do I feel about myself? What do I like about myself? Dislike? Hate? Which parts of myself do I find easy to accept? Which parts make me feel uneasy or conflicted?" Your answers to these questions reflect the type of intimate relationship you have with yourself.
Self-Estrangement: A block to interpersonal intimacy
Unfortunately, you may not have access to important parts of yourself. Why? Because you can dislike a part (or parts) of yourself so intensely that you deny its existence. Your denial doesn't mean, however, that these parts do not surface in your relationship--they usually seek expression. When you ignore parts of yourself, you've left the realm of self-intimacy (a connection to yourself) and have entered the world of self-estrangement (a disconnection from yourself).
At one time or another we've all denied certain truths about ourselves, maybe with little consequence--truths that would make us feel vulnerable or ashamed, desperate or inadequate. However, when you're in a relationship, the consequences of self-estrangement are always significant. Why? Because you can never fully hide from your spouse or partner.
When self-intimacy is the norm, you'll be fully present and emotionally available to your partner. When self-estrangement rules your inner world, you will remain disconnected from yourself and your partner. Your relationship is robbed of intimacy whenever you close off aspects of yourself to your partner.
Self-estrangement in action:
The husband who cannot be vulnerable with his wife is self-estranged--he denies his vulnerable self. A wife who minimizes her outbursts is self-estranged--she denies her anger. The girlfriend who ignores her jealousy is self-estranged--she denies her insecurities.
For the last ten years, Chris has worked almost nonstop to become a successful attorney. His driven nature has served him well professionally and he recently made partner at his New York City law firm. To his dismay, Chris's work-related success has always eluded him in his personal relationships.
Chris complains that he often feels distant in his marriage, despite his wife Kendra's encouragement to be more open and share his feelings. Chris is estranged from any emotions that make him feel "weak" or vulnerable. It's his inability to connect with these parts of himself that continues to block intimacy in his marriage.
Chris's first step in breaking out of this self-estrangement pattern is to honestly assess his relationship with himself--in particular, the parts of himself that he wished didn't exist.
Are you ready to assess yourself?
Rate yourself and your relationship intimacy:
Using a scale from one (no intimacy) to ten (very satisfying levels of intimacy), rate the intimacy in your marriage or relationship.
If your rating is relatively high (8 or higher), than you probably don't struggle with self-estrangement. If your rating is relatively low (4 or lower), self-estrangement may be standing in the way of a deeper connection with your partner.
To help determine the impact that your level of self-intimacy has on your marriage or relationship, now rate yourself on the self-intimacy/self-estrangement continuum below:
Self-Intimacy-----------------------------------------------------Self-Estrangement
Pick a spot on this continuum that reflects how connected (or disconnected) you feel to yourself. Try to think about how self-connected you feel in general, since this may shift for you, depending on circumstances. If the spot you choose is closer to the self-intimacy end of the continuum, this means you feel grounded and are able to share yourself fully with your partner; if your spot is closer to the self-estrangement end, you feel disconnected and are unable to share yourself fully with your partner.
Rating yourself can feel a little daunting, so give yourself enough time to adequately reflect on these issues. If it does feel like self-estrangement is holding you (and your relationship) back from achieving the intimacy you desire, speak with someone who can give you support around this issue (your partner, a trusted friend or family member, a counselor). You've already taken an important step by assessing your level of self-intimacy.
Are you ready to build a stronger, more intimate relationship?
To receive FREE monthly tips on how to build the relationship of your dreams, visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro's Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.
As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: "The four mindsets that can topple your relationship" and "Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue before your arguments control you."
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/healthy-relationship-healthy-self-build-a-stronger-connection-through-selfintimacy-357973.html
About the Author
Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship coach and psychologist who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich is cofounder of LifeTalk Coaching, an Internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: intimacy, Love Relationships, marriage, marriage advice, marriage help, relationship, relationship advice, Relationship Help |
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Relationship Advice for Those Who Think All Men or Women Are the Same
Author: Jack Ito
If you are like many women who seem to experience the same problems with men from relationship to relationship, you are probably wondering if all men are the same. You have probably heard many times that "all men want the same thing." Some women even come to detest men because of their experiences. Many men think the same about women.
But, if all men really want the same thing, then how do we account for successful relationships? Are they because the women in those relationships are less concerned with men's behavior and so put up with more? Actually, quite the opposite. The women in those relationships have a high self-regard and would not allow their partner to mistreat them.
In fact, all men and women need the same things. We have survival needs such as those for air, shelter, water, food, etc. We also have emotional needs such as to love, feel loved, feel important, feel secure, and to feel like we belong. And sexual desire is not unique to men.
Some men have learned to get these needs met by being subservient, some by being dominant and some by being jerks Each of these kinds of behaviors attracts a different kind of woman. The reason for this is that some women have also learned to get their needs met by being subservient, dominant, outrageous, etc. Why else do you think they would behave this way?
What kind of man do you think a passive woman is attracted to--a domineering man, of course. Not because she likes his arrogant and controlling behavior, but because she knows how to be a partner for such a man. She knows how to get what she needs from such a man, even if at the same time she hates her relationship. She cannot stand him, but she will never leave him.
When these matched relationships do break up, both the man and woman find new partners who similarly match and thus repeat the same patterns in the new relationship. Having the same experience with men and women relationship after relationship, they conclude that all men and all women are the same.
These people think that their only hope lies in finding a man or woman who is exceptional and rare. They see good men or women as 1 in 1000. All the while, they are surrounded by men and women who are quite different from their usual partners. But, their attraction for these people is just not there. Equally, these people are not attracted to them. A man who is not domineering will have little interest in a passive woman.
For single people, the answer does not lie in finding a "rare" 1 in 1000 man or woman. For women, the answer lies in learning to become more like the women who have healthy relationships. They will then be attracted to healthy men and repelled by the unhealthy ones--a reversal of their usual trend. The healthy men will also be attracted to them. What seemed to be rare before will become abundant for the woman who has learned to live in a better way. The same answer is true for single men.
For people who are already in a relationship that they hate, the answer is neither to breakup nor to put up with the relationship. Breakup would just lead to continuing the same pattern with yet another person. Putting up with the relationship will just keep you miserable. Just as for single men and women, working with someone like a relationship coach will help you to change your way of relating to your partner. Your partner's bad ways of getting what he or she wants will no longer work, but they will still be able to get what they need by adjusting to your new behavior. You change, they change, and the relationship changes. In this way one person changing his or herself really can change his or her relationship for the good and break out of a negative pattern and into a positive one.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/relationship-advice-for-those-who-think-all-men-or-women-are-the-same-510372.html
About the Author
Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. For 14 years he has helped more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships.
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Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: dating, marriage advice, marriage help, relationship advice, relationship coach, relationships |
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