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Surprising Reasons Why Men Leave (and How to Handle It)

Author: Brenda Shoshanna

After a relationship ends, whether it’s a 20 year marriage or a promising romance, women ask themselves over and over, what went wrong? They ask themselves, their girlfriends and their therapists. Sometimes they even spend weeks and months blaming themselves and become afraid to try again. Once they know what really happened, it’s always easier to move on.

Below are some top reasons men leave and some guidelines on how to handle this.

They’re Waiting For The Perfect Partner

Some men have a secret fantasy which whispers that a perfect partner is somewhere, around the corner, waiting for him. This perfect partner will not only accept him as he is fully, but he’ll finally be able to express the parts of himself that are hidden. She’ll bring out the best in him. Rather than criticize and make demands, the perfect partner will give unconditionally and fulfill his every need. This fantasy should not be discounted, as it fuels much of this man's inner life. When a woman understands this fantasy fully, she has a secret for helping the man really thrive.

They Hear A Call To Adventure

As soon as some men see a relationship as stifling his basic need for adventure, he can feel himself to be trapped in a prison without bars. Many men then blame the relationship for the dilemma he is in. They do not realize that their true need is to find adventure in the relationship. A woman who does best in this kind of relationship is one who provides challenge.

They Suffer From A Fear Of Commitment

The fear of commitment is widely misunderstood. Commitment is inevitable when a man is living from the truth of who he is. When a man, however, is in a relationship out of obligation, guilt, on or to fulfill a false sense of self-esteem, no real commitment is possible. If he’s not committing, it’s because he doesn’t feel things are right for him.

They Fear That They Can’t Satisfy The Woman

There are some women who can never be satisfied no matter how much a man gives or tries to please. Some men become tied up in knots in these relationships and start to feel terrible about themselves. No matter how hard they try, they can’t get the approval they are hungry for. Some just live for those rare moments when they are acknowledged and thanked.

He’s Acting Out The Repetition Compulsion

The Repetition Compulsion is the unconscious compulsion to repeat a painful situation or relationship over and over, in the hopes it will turn out differently this time. Usually each time is worse, brings more pain and disappointment. Even in the rare instances when the person gets what he wants, the original hunger does not subside. The only solution to this compulsion is to go back to the original trauma, face it fully and work it out.

He’s Involved With The Ghost Of A Past Relationship

These Ghosts are memories, dreams and longings that linger from past relationships, which have been finished but are not over. A man can hold onto the memory of a former wife or lover and idealize her to such an extent, it prevents him from being available to anyone in the present. These memories can also become projected on the current relationship. These men must learn to say forgive the past, say good-bye, and develop the courage to love again.

Here are some Touchstones, (guidelines) for both women and men to help understand relationships better and behave in a way that is helpful for all.

Touchstones For Women

- Realize the turbulence a man goes through often has nothing to do with you - and cannot be avoided.

- Give him space to discover himself, without guilt. His changes do not mean he does not love you. Allow him to be all that he is. Acceptance is love.

- Get busy becoming all the person you can be too. There is nothing worse for a relationship than a man feeling you are clinging to him for your life.

Touchstones For Men

- Restlessness and painful feelings come so you can understand yourself better. Don’t blame them on the relationship. This is not a time to run away, but stay put and understands what is going on inside.

- While you are unsettled and confused is not the best time to act. Choices made during this time are often ruled by feelings and needs from the past.

- Make sure you help the woman realize what you are going through. Do not blame her for it. Be patient with her and yourself.

- Understand that craving other women can become an addiction and escape from intimacy, bringing only more pain and repetition in its wake.

Cc/Dr Brenda Shoshanna/2007

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/surprising-reasons-why-men-leave-and-how-to-handle-it-243912.html

About the Author

Hear men tell you in their own words why they left and what makes a relationship work in eye-opening book on modern relationships - Why Men Leave, http://www.whymenleave.com. Top psychologist,speaker, mediator,and author offers unique guidelines and instructions. Contact at mailto: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com. Get free ezine and articles http://www.brendashoshanna.com/ Go to: http://www.whymenleave to get your copy right now.

Pros And Cons Of The Age Gap

Author: Graham Billingham

Being with someone who is several years older or younger than you can be both a blessing and a curse. Before you decide to get serious, you should know what you're getting into.

If you're younger...

PROS

You get to be with someone mature. Someone who doesn't "act out" or throw tantrums just because you happened to mention that you have a crush on a celebrity. Also, because of your lover's life experience, he/she can dish out valuable advice that you couldn't get from your friends.

You can learn a thing or two - and I'm not just talking about life lessons. Older people have had more sexual experiences, and if you've got the right lover, he or she won't hesitate to teach you some new "moves".

Your lover is more interesting than people your age. Again, this is mostly because of life experiences. Older men and women have gone through enough problems and opportunities, and they have several funny, inspiring, painful, and horrifying stories to tell. Also, if the age gap is wide enough, the type of music or movies that he or she likes may be completely different from yours, and getting a taste of these "oldies" can help you grow culturally.

CONS

Emotional baggage. The older man and the older woman have enough emotional baggage to drag you down. Beware of verbally psychoanalyzing their actions - it's unlikely that they want a "kid" to tell them what they did wrong in their lives. Instead, be understanding and make sure that your older lover isn't an emotional vampire who will suck you dry.

If you're older...

PROS

The younger man/woman can inspire you with a sense of awe. Having a young, new body next to you can knock a few years off of your own age. You get to do more youthful things, and you tap the mindset of today's youth.

The younger lover doesn't have that much emotional baggage. This means that things are more "happy-go-lucky" and smoother with the younger lover. You won't get late night conversations about every ex that's ever broken his or her heart. Also, there's not much that you can get compared to. Odds are, if he or she says that you're the best sex in his/her life, it's true.

The younger lover looks up to you. This is because of all the advice and life lessons you have to offer. You've been through a lot, and your lover knows this. Odds are, you're the first one he or she talks to during times of conflict.

CONS

The younger lover can be immature. Sometimes, young lovers are such perfectionists that they seek all sorts of things that you can't give. This is why, if you want to go out with someone younger, make sure that he or she is mature for his or her age.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/pros-and-cons-of-the-age-gap-136232.html

About the Author
Graham Billingham writes for DrDating.com a site filled with help and advice for online dating, relationships and love.

5 WARNING SIGNS YOU’LL NEVER MEET SOMEONE

Author: Tonja Weimer

Do you worry that you will never meet someone?  Have you tried to date, but nothing ever works out?  There are warning signs that tell you why this happens.  Do you know what the signs are?

WARNING SIGN #1 Disastrous Dates

The first warning sign that you won’t meet someone is when you have a date that you think is a disaster and you focus on the “failure” of it.  You may keep trying to date, but each person seems worse than the last one.  You consider this a sure sign that you will be alone the rest of your life, that you are not attractive enough to get the one you want, and, most of all, the one you want doesn’t even exist!

WHAT YOU CAN DO:  Shift your thinking from failure to success. You haven’t “lost” anything except some expectations.  Look for what you learned.  You have gained insight, clarity, and knowledge.  You can use these lessons on the path to your True Love.

CONCLUSION:  Your single life is not a contest—it’s an adventure.  Stop looking at it like it is one impossible event after another.  As long as you think of it as a win-lose, you will not feel successful, or brave enough to take the necessary steps to meet someone.  You are allowing your creative mind to dip into the negative zone, turning a disappointing date into an act of rejection.  Get a grip.  Don’t talk yourself into feeling rejected.  No one rejects you but your own mean inner critic.

WARNING SIGN #2: Interpreting Every Date As A Rejection

WHAT TO DO: It takes a victim and a victimizer, carefully orchestrating their misery, to be successful in creating the game of rejection.  If you don’t play the game, you can’t be rejected.  You are not rejected if someone shares that you two don’t seem compatible.  Say, “Thank you,” let go of whatever you were expecting, and move on.  How do you keep your dance card full so one less name on it will barely be missed?  Get out often, get out more, and get out and be friendly.

CONCLUSION: If you make a plan for your social life, you don’t have to wait for love to “just happen.”  Follow the plan, and plan for volume, so you won’t fall into the “I’ve been rejected” pit.

WARNING SIGN #3: Jealousy Consumes You When Someone Else Falls In Love

WHAT TO DO: When you feel jealous of anyone for ANYTHING, look to see what you have not done for you.  Jealousy occurs when we feel deprived, or helpless, or like we are not enough.  If you are jealous of another person, ask yourself:

• What have I done lately to meet someone?  Do I get out whenever possible, tell lots of people I would like to meet someone, and stay friendly, reaching out to others?  Be honest.  How much have you really done?
• What can I do to feel better about myself?  Need a counselor, exercise program, or financial adviser?
• What can I do today to empower myself?  Have I de-cluttered recently, eliminated what I have been putting up with, or found something to do that I LOVE?

CONCLUSION: Jealousy happens when you are feeling empty and unfulfilled.  No one can make you jealous if your life is brimming with good things and if you know you have the power to create everything you want.

WARNING SIGN #4: Looking For Someone To Make You Happy

WHAT TO DO: Look to see where you can make yourself happy.  You may think all your fears will melt and your problems will be handled when The Perfect One enters your life.  But if you have this state of mind, when you find The One and continue not to be happy, you may think it is the other person’s fault.  True—the other person may be a jerk or jerkette—but your unhappiness started with you.  Pull your life together, do things that make you proud, and then you will attract someone like you.

CONCLUSION: Happiness is not an elusive balloon—one minute you have a hold of it and the next, it slips from your grasp.  You don’t have to go chasing after it.  It’s in you.  No one can give it to you, and no one can take it away.  You give it to yourself.

WARNING SIGN #5: Projection Onto The Other Person

WHAT TO DO: This is a common mistake singles make.  Many people who live alone want to meet someone so much, when they finally get a date, they read all kinds of values and character traits into the person that just aren’t there.  Eventually, they wind up being angry because he or she didn’t live up to their expectations.

CONCLUSION: Be careful when meeting your future dates that you don’t “make it up” they are so perfect, you miss the red flags of danger.

These are the five warning signs that can become your new guide to find romance.  Give them a try.  You deserve to find your love.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/5-warning-signs-youll-never-meet-someone-1147981.html

About the Author

About Tonja Weimer:

· Columnist: Weekly syndicated singles and dating columnist (over four million readers in the U.S. and Canada)

· Media: Coverage on TV, including CNN’s ShowBiz Today; rave reviews in USA Today, Entertainment Weekly, Publisher’s Weekly

· Author: NBC/USA TV Network, selected author for articles on dating and singles for website

· Articles: In House Beautiful, New Woman, GRAND, and other national magazines

· Coach: Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach; Associate Certified Life Coach; International Coach Federation; Relationship Coaching Institute; Institute for Life Coach Training

· Keynote Speaker: Regional, National and International conferences in U.S., India and Europe

· Academic: BA; MA in Human Development; U.S. Dept of Mental Health full fellowship

· Published Author: 7 Books(Fingerplays for Children; Creative Movement for Children, etc) winning over 25 awards.

Visit Tonja's website for more exciting dating tips!

Singles Dating Tips Online

How To Attract Young Women - Adonis Effect Review

Author: Chris Fenton

Are you one of those guys who feel terrible because they seem to be such douche or such a loser when it comes to attracting young and beautiful ladies? You shouldn't feel upset about yourself because you can still do tons of things to attract beautiful young ladies out there. Here are some easy tips on how to attract young women and make them go crazy over you:

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Tip # 1: Make Yourself Look Good All The Time

How can a young lady be attracted to a man who looks he doesn't even know how to take a bath or even just know how to shave at all? Beautiful young ladies would get attracted to someone who looks neat and someone who looks good all the time. Try to wear clean clothes and wear those that compliment your size and color. You don't need to spend too much doing this, all you need to have is some positivity and some creativity.

Tip # 2: Be Confident

If you want to know how to attract young women, then one of the best ways to do it would be to have confidence all the time. When you are around beautiful young ladies, don't act as if you are going to have a panic attack because you might scare them away, instead try to relax and smile. Keep in mind that being confident and starting a conversation with a smile is a must to get a young girl's attention.

Tip # 3: Be Witty

Young ladies are fun to be with so you shouldn't be kill joy when you are around them. Don't act like as if you are too old to be with and they shouldn't be attracted to you. Keep in mind that if you want to know how to attract young women, you should be funny and witty when you are around them. It will surely get their attention and they will surely think that you are a fun person to be with.

You shouldn't act like as if you can't do anything anymore to make beautiful girls want you. Believe in yourself that you can still date a beautiful young lady and make her the girl of your dreams. I hope I helped you and I wish you all the best. Good luck!

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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-attract-young-women-adonis-effect-review-1436164.html

About the Author

This author writes about How To Attract Young Women and Adonis Effect Review.

Why Women Ruin Relationships By Talking Too Much

Author: Deborrah Cooper

Woman complain frequently about male/female communication. "Men don't communicate" these ladies say in frustration. Women complain that men give one-word answers, don't elaborate and tell the entire story in a play by play fashion, and that it feelings like "pulling teeth" to get information out of them.

Being Like A Man Is Not Always A Bad Thing!

Women operate on a different dynamic and love to share their feelings, experiences and thoughts with others. I think this female style of communication is a way that bonds us and brings us closer to others. Which means this communication style is fine with other women when we get together and talk about family and work. But it is absolutely positively the wrong way to communicate with your romantic partner when it comes to the sexual pleasures you've enjoyed before he came on the scene!

Are All The Mysterious Women Dead?

"She possesses an air of mystery." Sadly, that trait is one many women have completely abandoned. In their quest to "be honest" women feel it necessary need to tell their man every thought that passes through their head, and every single thing they've ever done in this life and those previous. In other words, women blab and share wayyyy too much information.

Guys avoid those types of disclosure like the plague. Their thinking is if you haven't asked a specific question, it isn't important enough to bring up, and it's probably not in their best interest to do so.

Men want things in their relationships to be smooth and easy and pleasant. Smart men know that telling their new woman how great their ex was in bed is not something she needs to know. They know women aren't happy hearing that type of news, and there will be some serious unpleasant moments that follow the delivery! Men are smart enough to know that a female coworker's breast augmentation and how much hotter she looks now is not something their woman needs to know either. Women should adopt a similar policy.

Keep The Past Where It Belongs... In The Past!

Recently a letter came into my advice column from a 35 year old woman that had been introduced by her Mom to a nice physician, formerly from her neighborhood. Though he seemed to be somewhat of a braggart, the two got along well and things looked like they were going someplace.

One day he mentioned that he was going to get a haircut in the old neighborhood, and she volunteered that she had gone out to dinner a few times with the owner of that same barbershop. No relationship, nothing sexual, just out to dinner twice.

After this revelation the young Dr. went to the barber and inquired about his interaction with the woman in question. The barber embellished the interaction and represented the relationship as more than it had been, much to the young doctor's chagrin. Feeling that his reputation would be at risk from this association, he immediately broke off the budding relationship.

Why?

He knows how men are. He knew that the other men in the shop would be trading jokes and stories about sexual activities with his new girl, and that he didn't want to endure the subsequent embarrassment.

Why did this young woman not keep her mouth closed? What benefit did she think would be gained by bringing up ancient history? Why talk about something that involved just a couple of dates that took place years ago and led to nothing?

The boyish competitiveness and desire to bring a man with higher social standing and more money down a peg or two is what was behind this little drama.

Understanding men's egos, the dynamic under which men compete and the manner in which men judge women's suitability as a steady girlfriend and/or wife should be enough impetus to keep your lips closed.

However, if you plan to marry, full disclosure should be expected by your fiancee and provided on about matters vital to the marriage. Openness on subjects such as debts, health concerns, child support and visitation, and income are mandatory, but that is really all that is needed.

In conclusion, think before you open your mouth and "share" information with your man that he won't be able to handle. Blabbing every detail about your past interactions with other men will do nothing positive for your new relationship. Every woman past the age of 21 has a past of some sort. The men that come into your life need to accept the woman that you are, take you as you come and love you for exactly who and what you are right now.

Your past, with all your mistakes, challenges, and experiences together created the fascinating creature that he has fallen in love with. Your past should be something you keep to yourself and reflect on in old age with a enigmatic smile. It should be remembered and respected, but never trotted out for critical review and comment by every guy you date.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/why-women-ruin-relationships-by-talking-too-much-370906.html

About the Author

(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 8:00 pm PST.

Valentine's Day - Different Ways to Spoil your Loved Ones

Author: Andrea Cox

Valentine's Day is a day for romance. Traditionally a day when we hope to receive cards, flowers and maybe a gift from those that we love or admire. Cards are usually given anonymously. It's great fun to try and disguise your token of appreciation and maddening trying to work out who the sender of your's is. It is always a thrill to receive a Valentine from someone we have feelings for, particularly if it is a new potential relationship.

The story goes that in the 3rd century St Valentine married a couple in secret at a time when it was banned by Emporer Cladius 11. For this he was sentenced to death and while in prison he fell in love with the jailer's blind daughter (allegedly the power of his love restored her sight). Just before he died he sent her a message signed "from your Valentine".

Gifts for your loved ones

Long-established symbols of love are hearts, red roses and kisses and traditional gifts of flowers, chocolates and perfume are given at Valentines. Heart shaped gifts or items decorated with Hearts are also popular. If you've been with your sweetheart for some time then you may be past flowers and chocolate and need inspiration for a more original gift. Heart shaped pottery or pottery decorated with hearts would be a long-lasting token. Your partner would think of you each morning as he or she sipped their morning tea from their Heart covered mug or serve a romantic breakfast in bed on Hearts pottery. You could fill a jug with flowers or add a personal message or their pet-name to a mug or teapot.

It is traditional to give your partners gifts for Valentine's but it's also a nice gesture to show your other loved ones how you feel about them on this special day. Secret cards to confuse your children (my grandfather always used to send me a card from whoever my love of the moment was be it David Cassidy or David Soul). Anonymous cards to friends, but with a clue that it might be from their best friend so that their hopes aren't raised too much, nobody wants to be cruel.

Surprise someone

I know we show our appreciation on Mother's and Father's Day but still, particularly if people are on their own, it's nice to feel that you are loved - send flowers to your mum or an "I Love You" mug to your dad. They won't expect it and will be thrilled to be thought of.

Restaurants are always packed on Valentine's Day - full of little tables for two. Your favourite local never feels the same on this night. If you are determined to go out together for a romantic meal why not try something different. What about a picnic (I know it's winter) but if it's a bright, dry day nothing could be nicer. You could take hot chicken or sausages, flasks of soup and a bottle of red wine. Find a sheltered spot somewhere beautiful and tuck in. You can always drop into the local pub for something warming once you've had your lunch.

Whatever you do for Valentines Day do it with the ones you love.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/valentines-day-different-ways-to-spoil-your-loved-ones-308508.html

About the Author

Andrea Cox writes editorial for Emma Bridgewater UK, a company that specialises in handmade pottery and kitchen accessories that are ideal as Valentine's gifts.

Feeling Hopeless Over A Falling Apart Relationship?

Author: Jesus Uman

Is your relationship falling apart?  Is it getting worse, and you feel hopeless?  Has panic gripped you, and you're grasping for anything to help you?  The confusion, pain, and anger you experience when your relationship is falling apart, is one of the most devastating things to endure.  There is help to make it healthy, and you don't have to feel hopeless!  It can be fixed!

Everyone will have problems in their relationship, whether minor or major.  In your case, it's major,  you feel hopeless, and don't know what to do. Your sense of urgency has brought you here for your falling apart relationship.Take a deep breath it can be fixed!

Here are some facts what falling apart relationships lead to.  It's estimated that 50% of men under the age of 45 will divorce in their first time of marriage. For women, it is about 44% to 52% under the age of 45 who will divorce in their first time of marriage. For men, and women between the ages of 45 to 55, it is about 40% who will divorce. The lowest divorce rates are for men and women at 60 years of age, until death, at about 32%. Not good odds, are they?  Don't be a statistic!

How many people have you heard say that their relationship was over? You felt for them, you cried with them, and hoped that something like this won't happen to you.  But it did!  There are 5 extremely important areas that you need to focus on to help your falling apart relationship heal. Series of events led up to it.

1. Are you in love, or just love?

There are many ways to describe love, but concerning a relationship,  It's about being in love!  When you first fell in love, did it take your breath away, make your heart beat faster?  Did your knees knock, and left you shaky all over?   Life gets in the way with the business of making a living, taking care of family, and so on, and it has contributed to diminishing  the magic of being in love!  Re-kindle that magic!

2. Be committed to make your relationship work!

Are both of you committed to stop your relationship from falling apart?  If only one of you is willing to rebuild it, the odds are that it is bound to fail. Both of you will have to sit down, and discuss your willingness to make your falling apart relationship work.  There will be problems, and both of you will need to be willing to work on them, and see them through.

3. Learn how to communicate with each other again!

How many couples do you know who were madly in love in the beginning of their relationship? They talked about everything under the sun, and were excited with each others conversation.  Then time past, and you saw them again, both of them so quiet, you could hear a pin drop and hit the floor! Has your relationship reached that point? Communication won't be easy, because the relationship is already in trouble, but you keep trying.  It will get better!

4. Be willing to work on trust issues!

For a relationship to work, it has to be built on a foundation of trust! I don't know what kind of events went on in your home that led up to it falling apart, but if trust has been compromised, it will be a difficult issue to work on. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes! It's when you do it again, that it isn't a mistake anymore, but an intention.

5. Rebuilding your relationship will take time.

Working on a relationship that is falling apart will take time. You have to be patient! It will not heal over night!   Keep in mind, that the damage is done, and you don't want to put a band-aid over a gaping wound!

Relationships that fall apart are difficult, and unfortunately, too many people give up. They end their relationships when there was a chance it could have been saved!  Yours can be!  You don't have to feel hopeless!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/feeling-hopeless-over-a-falling-apart-relationship-1421211.html

About the Author

My name is Jesus Uman, and I work in the Human Services field. I am a counselor who has seen too many relationships that could have been saved. I have worked with people from all walks of life, from individuals who come from well to do families, to individuals that were on the lower end of the social economic ladder, and relationship issues trouble everyone from time to time. I have the resources to help you! Why continue thinking what to do, when you can get help right away! Again, give yourself a break, and click the link below!
http://hubpages.com/hub/A-Broken-Marriage-How-to-Save-A-Broken-Marriage

How to Stop Fighting With your Partner Today

Author: Mailcucan

It's fair to say that most people avoid contact whenever they are faced with it especially in a relationship. Conflict and arguments make us feel weak and can cause us to feel badly about ourselves and our lives. If you find that you and your partner are constantly fighting, and you don't know what you do about it, maybe these tips will be able to help.

What are you fighting for?

There may be times when it seems like you're fighting about everything from the litter box to the bills, the way someone snores to how they put the towel on the floor after a shower. But what you might want to start to recognize is that not all fights are actually about anything important at all they're merely symbols of something larger. And it's that larger thing that you need to tackle in order to stop the fighting and arguing.

But how do you get to this larger issue? First of all, there are many psychological techniques that can help you, so there's no need to become frustrated before you even start. Some couples are able to sit down and talk about what frustrates them, but for those that can not, writing is an amazingly effective way to get your feelings out. What you can do is simply take five minutes to write until you run out of things to say. While you might not think that you can write for that long, you'll be surprised what happens once you get started. This free writing exercise allows your mind to switch off and allows the censors to be quiet so that you can release your real feelings about what is happening in your relationship.

Every day help

You may also want to try this exercise every morning when you first wake up. By writing down everything that is on your mind, you will keep it from becoming too 'full' and confused. Many people find that this exercise not only allows them to be calmer in their relationship, but that they can also find solutions to ongoing problems that come up. This is a long term tool that works for many couples.

Right now

If you want to diffuse your fighting today, you can do several things. First of all, it helps to step outside of your anger and your frustration by realizing what is really happening. Talk about the 'source' of your fighting as though it were happening to someone else. This might mean that you start to refer to each other in the third person (he or she) in order to fully separate yourself from the emotions that are occurring. You might also want to start talking in hushed tones to calm down your body physically so that your mind responds as well. It's hard to be upset when you're talking softly.

What are you getting out of fighting?

Another thing that you will want to consider is whether or not you're rewarding the other person for fighting with you, or if they are rewarding you. We only do things that bring us some sort of satisfaction, so what is the reward of all of your fighting? Think about what happens immediately after a fight. Do you head to the bedroom as a sort of reward for the fight being over? Do you talk lovingly to each other or go out and reward your selves in some other manner?

When you start to realize that pattern of your fighting, you might start to see that you are actually allowing it to continue to happen. Instead of making it something that isn't good for your relationship, you're creating the connection that if you fight, you will get something in return. To effectively stop the fighting and start uncovering what the source is, you need to stop rewarding the fighting itself. After a fight, you shouldn't do anything that makes it rewarding. Sit with each other, but try not to create any sort of reward unless you actually work through the problem that you have fought about.

Fighting isn't something that you can entirely avoid, but it is a signal that you should look more closely at your relationship and how you are managing it. By taking the time to write out your feelings and then discussing problems calmly, you won't have to start yelling in order to feel heard.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-stop-fighting-with-your-partner-today-67154.html

About the Author

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Effective Relationship Advice Brings Your Marriage Life Back on Track!

Author: amar

Your marriage life may not go on smoothly forever. It is bound to face some turbulent times that put a question mark on the sustainability of the relationship itself. Relationship advice is what you can relay upon to save your relationship from turmoil. Naturally, there will be a lot of advice coming your way. But, every piece of advice may not be acceptable for you. So, looking for the right relationship advice that can resurrect your life is highly sought by couples nowadays.

There are countless instances where couples in deep emotional bonding for years decide to get separated from each other suddenly. The love and charm are gone and the beloved partners have nothing to do with each other. Here relationship advice comes into play. Whether you have recently broken up or you're in the midst of a divorce process or your ex-partner is already dating someone new, for more details visit to www.auto-cons.com there are few simple techniques that can fix your relationship and bring your deserted partner cheerfully back into your arms.

Human beings are not perfect. When two persons live together for years, there would be naturally some relationship problems between them. It is not your fault. Everybody encounters the same problem. People since the day of their birth develop different kinds of relationship with others. They come in and out of the relationships every now and then. But, people never strive to maintain their relationships or how to make them better. A relationship advice can make you aware of that fault.

According to relationship advice, we are never taught in our lives how to sustain a happy and healthy relationship. So, there is nothing surprising in committing some mistakes. However, there are some fatal mistakes that if we commit can slowly ruin the relationship and take your partner further away from you. These include seeking help from family and friends, promising your partner that you'll change, for more details visit to www.be-an-air-courier.com hoping that your relationship will automatically survive, attempting to reason with your partner etc.

The simple techniques that were mentioned earlier in the article can prove to be effective relationship advice. You can save yourself from expensive counseling and expensive divorce lawyers by adopting these techniques. To revive your relationship, you don't need to drag your partner into it. Introducing the shortest relationship repair guide ever created, Radomir Samardzic offers you one proven relationship advice instead of plenty. He has 7 years of experience in teaching people how to save their relationships without involving their partners. His book, aptly titled "The Relationship Saver" is a result of his rich experience. You can visit RelatioshipSaver.org to have more information and download the copy.

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How To Save A Relationship

Author: Matt Olson

Going through a break up is one of the most traumatic experiences you can go through, especially if the two of you were very close at one time. This may sound overly dramatic, but it's a proven fact that losing a relationship creates a similar degree of grief as losing a loved one who dies. The pain is overwhelming at times. How many more sleepless nights can you take? Is there something you can do to repair the relationship? If you want to learn how to save a relationship but feel powerless to change things, you must learn exactly what to do and what not to do in order to increase your odds of a successful reunion.

Accepting that this is happening is the first step towards healing. Whatever you resist, persists. Accept that you are going to go through a certain degree of emotional pain instead of fighting it. You will immediately feel a "release" that will give you some relief. Saving a relationship means accepting that there are certain things you can change and certain things you can't. But the good news is you have more power than you may think.

If you're serious about learning how to save a relationship the first thing you must do is immediately stop any type of pushy, needy or "desperate" behavior. This includes arguing about the relationship, writing love letters, trying to convince your partner or ex, etc. The more you push, the more they will pull away... it's human nature. When you're the one chasing, you give away all your power... and that is unattractive.

The idea is to work with human nature instead of against it. You do this by giving the other person their space. If you are already broken up, this mean no contact for a while... no phone calls, emails, messages through mutual friends, nothing for at least a few weeks, even a month or so. If you are still together but the relationship is on the rocks, then of course zero contact is not practical. But giving your partner their space still applies.

By giving them their space, you show that you are no longer desperate and needy. You are no longer chasing them... and that will usually spark their interest again. Why? Because just like it's human nature to pull away if you feel pushed, the opposite is also true... a person tends to be drawn towards someone they think is not entirely available.

During this period of giving them their space, be sure to involve yourself in plenty of positive activities. Start working on those personal goals you've been putting off, do things that make you happy and improve your life. Your partner will see the difference. This combined with your new attitude of independence will almost always draw them towards you again. Now, instead of you being the one chasing, you're both equals... and you can begin to work on the deeper problems that need healing.

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Can you really save your relationship? Yes... Check out How To Save A Relationship for more free tips on EXACTLY how to get your loved one back in your arms fast.

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