Get An Ex Back Now

Posts Tagged ‘Long Distance Relationship’

Communication, Commitment and Trust. the Three Corners of a Long Distance Relationship

Author: Leon Louw

The three corners of a long distance relationship.

Which one of the three corners of a triangle is the most important?

Or to put it another way, which one of the three can you take away in order to leave a triangle? Obviously, if you take out any one of them, your triangle will collapse. The same goes for a long distance relationship. It actually applies to any relationship, but I’ll show you why it’s so crucially important in a long distance relationship.

Communication

There is no such thing as a relationship without communication. If you want one-way communication, get yourself a potted plant. They’re also very good at one way communication. Some people even say their potted plants thrive when they talk to them. But there’s very few people that would admit their plants actually talk back to them.

Communication is such a basic part of every day life, that you’d think most people would be quite proficient at it. Breathing is an important part of everyday life, and most people seem to manage it quite fine, so communication should be a breeze shouldn’t it? (pun not intended) Guess again! Most people don’t know the first thing about communication.

What do you think is the single most common reason for marriages ending in divorce? Make your pick from the following: Infidelity (unfaithfulness), communication, violence, sexual problems, money problems, too busy lifestyle, or self-centeredness.

Apparently (I didn’t verify this statistic) fully 85% of marriages that end up in the divorce court, end because of a lack of communication. Looking at the list above, you will see that communication actually plays a part in most, if not all of the other factors. Whether or not you are married or just in a serious relationship doesn’t make the slightest difference here. Your relationship may not end up in a divorce court, but the reason for it breaking could be exactly the same.

Becoming a good communicator

It’s all fine and well that you now know communication is so very important, but what good does it do you if I don’t help you to communicate better? In order to help you, I’m going to show you a few basics of communication. People communicate differently due to various reasons, including, but not limited to:

- maturity

- sex

- culture

- temperament

Maturity

Your level of maturity is mirrored by your communication. I don’t mean you should sit around and complain about the good old days like old people, I just mean that you need to (at least some times) be able to have a good heart-to-heart discussion about important issues.

I can’t think how an immature person would handle a long distance relationship. If you are in a long distance relationship and you want it to work, you will have to handle it in a very mature way. This is especially important due to the fact that you are not together all the time. Your communication time is limited, so when you need to discuss serious matters, you can’t just shy away from it.

So what do you do if your partner isn’t mature? Well, luckily, maturity is something you can learn. People are born with a certain tendency towards maturity, but the more mature you act the more mature you will become. If your partner is serious about your relationship he will make it work. Sit down and have a mature discussion about it. This is sometimes one of those things that you just need to point out for the change to occur.

Sex

We all know men and women communicate differently, and I’m not just referring to the actual topics of the conversation. Men focus more on words and technicalities, whereas women focus more on tone of voice and body language. And that’s a pretty big generalization. Just remember, when you’re talking to somebody of the opposite sex that that person may interpret your meaning in a completely different way than what you initially intended. Be aware of that fact, and you can save yourself a world of trouble.

Culture

This is especially important for couples that are of different backgrounds. And I’m not just referring to different ethnic backgrounds. Even people from the same ethnic background, but different parts of the same country can have very different ways of communication.

You should never hide behind the fact that you’re from a different culture. What I mean is: If you know certain people find certain words offensive, even though where you come from they have different meanings, it doesn’t give you the right to abuse that fact. When communicating with your partner, always keep your backgrounds in consideration.

Temperament

You all know those people that seemingly get offended at everything? Or what about those people who seem to offend everybody with their style? Even though it’s also not something to hide behind, it’s probably a factor of their different personalities (temperaments). It’s a good idea, if you’re in a serious relationship, to find out exactly what personality type both you and your partner are. It will make communication so much easier. You will suddenly understand why, for example your partner misinterprets certain things you say, or why she sometimes seems so harsh on you.

Commitment

There really isn’t much to say about this. When you find somebody you really love, you WILL commit to that person. If you don’t, then your relationship is doomed from the start. There can be no relationship when there is no commitment. The moment an even remotely interesting third party shows up, your relationship will be down the drain if you haven’t committed to each other.

Commitment is something that you will have to work on. It builds heavily on the communication you have in your relationship, but also on trust. See why I say none of the three corners can be removed?

Trust

Let me just start of by saying this: Distrust is normal. Don’t feel like a terrible person just because you don’t always trust your partner. By the way; you thought your partner was great, so somebody else may just think the same way. But before you let trust – or the lack thereof – ruin your relationship, just ask yourself the following question: Why am I distrustful?

Do you have a valid reason for distrusting your partner? Really think about it for a while. If you both really love each other and are truly committed, why are you worrying? One of the main reasons to be distrustful is probably because of mass media. We’ve all seen movies, TV shows or have read books where the husband/wife comes home early only to find an untrustworthy partner in bed with someone else.

Does this really happen? Unfortunately it does. Does it happen nearly as often as we are made to believe? I’ve seen the Golden Gate Bridge being destroyed at least 5 times during the last 10 years. Funnily enough, it’s still standing; despite what Hollywood thinks should be happening. I’ve also seen at least 6 different attempts by aliens to take over or destroy the planet (some more humorous than others). I’ve still to see my first real alien – the green tentacled type, not the illegal immigrant type.

Suffice it to say this: Trust is like respect. The more you give, the more you will get. If you really trust your partner, it will show, and you will receive the trust back. You weren’t planning on cheating were you? Of course not, so trust you partner to do the same.

But here, once again, the three corners of the triangle will have to work together. I firmly believe that the more you communicate, and the more openly you communicate, the more you will learn to trust each other. And the more you trust each other the more committed you will be to each other. And the more committed you are, the more you will trust each other and communicate with each other.

I can carry on like this for a few more paragraphs until you are completely dizzy, but I’m certain you understand by now. If you feel you need to work on one of these points, you will have to work on all three of them.

 

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/communication-commitment-and-trust-the-three-corners-of-a-long-distance-relationship-698961.html

About the Author

Leon Louw is the author of Long Distance Relationship Secrets. It is an invaluable guide to couples that are in a long distance relationship. It provides them with tips, advice and guidance on how to overcome the troubles faced by a couple in a long distance relationship.
He has over three years experience of a long distance relationship himself, and he lives the life, not seeing his wife for 10 straight weeks at a time.

The information in here is a much scaled down version of what you will find in Long Distance Relationship Secrets and the accompanying bonuses (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com). I am not a psychologist, nor do I have any formal training in relationship counseling. However, Long Distance Relationship Secrets, the bonuses, and the articles (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com/articles.html) were all written from personal experience and after much research and discussion with experts in the field. As with all my writings, he/she, him/her, etc. are all to be seen as interchangeable, except where otherwise stated, or inferred from the text itself.

Please visit http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com/articles.html for more great free articles on long distance relationships.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work for You

Author: Deborah Dixon

Long distance relationships can be just as successful as a relationship where the two people involved are together on a daily basis. Everyone is different and some adapt well to long distance relationships whereas others are unable to cope. It often comes down to your upbringing. Being raised in a close family where both parents were always about could mean that you won’t cope well to living a long way from your partner. Alternatively being brought up with only one parent or in a family where relatives were absent regularly, then you will probably handle a long distance relationship well. However a long distance relationship establishes it is down to both people involved to keep the relationship alive.

The two main factors in maintaining a healthy long distance relationships is, trust and communication. Without these your relationship will most certainly suffer. Trust pays a huge part in any relationship.  In a relationship without trust you usually have jealously. Trying to survive in a long distance relationship with jealousy and lack of trust is practically impossible. You will constantly be checking up on your partner, worrying about what they are doing and who they are doing things with. You may even find yourself being the partner being checked up on. Knowing your partner doesn’t trust you is disheartening, especially if you have given them no reason to do so. The last thing you want in a long distance relationship is interrogation; you need reassurance and affection instead.

Communication is vital for a long distance relationship to work. You must understand how each partner is feeling and try to resolve any issues. Ask your partner how they feel and ask about the future. Don’t be scared to ask questions, after all it is your relationship too. Knowing where you stand will help you to sort out your perspective for the future and prevent any confusion further down the line. Instead of assuming that you are exclusive to each other and that you will one day live together again or even for the first time, make sure you have discussed this, or you may find yourself waiting for that perfect relationship that just won’t happen.

During a long distance relationship make sure that you communicate on a regular basis, ideally on a daily basis. It isn’t always possible to talk on the phone everyday, but there are other ways to make contact. Send a text message, write a letter, send an email, send a recent photo and even send a present. Try to meet up as often as you can and once planned, stick to the arrangements. Sharing the same experience simultaneously is a great idea to make you feel closer, such as watching the same television programme or film; you can then discuss your viewings together afterwards. This is just one way to make it feel like you still have a connection together. Another idea is to stargaze at the same time, which in itself is romantic. Your aim is to keep the emotional connection alive and keep the relationship healthy.

Having a positive outlook on your long distance relationship will help you partner to stay positive and feel secure. If you are determined to make a long distance relationship work for you then there is no reason at all why distance between you and your partner can prevent your relationship from working; it is all about personal perspective, trust and good communication.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-make-a-long-distance-relationship-work-for-you-955484.html

About the Author

Deborah has been the head copy writer for Completely Free Dating for over 2 years offering help and advice to its members on all aspects of free dating. Completely Free Dating is a free online dating service for people living in the UK, with absolutely no charges to any member at any time for any service.

3 Harsh Facts About Long Distance Relationships

Author: Paula Owen

Every relationship encounters challenges -- but long distance couples certainly have to deal with more challenges than the rest. Not being able to see each other causes a lot of complications that each man and woman has to deal with on his own.

Nevertheless, many couples manage to have successful long distance relationships. To find out how they do it, check out this list of the important things they keep in mind when they’re away from each other:

1. Don’t hold on to unrealistic expectations.
If your partner is not with you, he or she won’t be able to offer you support when you need it. Thus, you have to come to terms with the fact that you would have to get emotional support from your family and friends. Even if your partner wants to help you, it may be impossible for him or her to do so. You should learn to be self-reliant so you don’t have to rely on others to help you get through obstacles. You and your partner should discuss what each of you is like on ordinary days. Otherwise, each of you may expect the other to do grand things -- such as taking time off from work or cooking special meals -- on a regular basis. Real life isn’t always so idyllic.

2. Don’t believe in the perfect setting.
Often, you may not know what your partner is really like because you only spend a limited time with each other. When you do so, you’re often in your best behavior. In fact, you go out of your way to make sure that everything is perfect. You drop everything you’re doing or rearrange your schedule just so you could spend time with your partner. In the future, when you’re already together everyday, you may be shocked to find out that your partner acts differently when things are already normal.

3. Don’t avoid problems.
Most long distance couples often avoid dealing with problems because they feel that they have to make the most of the limited time they have with each other. Even in their phone conversations, they don’t tell each other bad news or confide about tough days. This should not be the case. Your partner should be aware of everything that’s going on in your life -- whether it’s good or bad. This way he or she has a real picture of what you’re going through. If you only give your partner good news, he or she would believe that all is well even when you’re dealing with a bunch of problems on your own.

Keep in mind that the key to the success of long distance relationships is good communication. In this regard, honesty goes a long way.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/3-harsh-facts-about-long-distance-relationships-1821756.html

About the Author

Paula Owen has been passionate about writing articles for the last 5 years. Check out her latest website Plus Size Suits which reviews and lists the latest plus size dresses so you can decide which plus size special ocassion dresses best suit your wardrobe needs.

Six Ways to Fix a Breaking Long Distance Relationship

Author: Leon Louw

How do you get your love back when all seems lost?

I received the following question:

"My relationship was going well and then it plummeted. It was a long distance relationship but it was going so well and strong for 7 months and then crashed. I would give anything to get her back and I really need some advice."

This is just one example of countless questions I receive asking advice for basically the same problem. So how do you fix a relationship that has gone bad?

Go for the 6-point checklist

1. Go visit
If you really would do anything, I suggest you start by going to see your partner and try and work things out. Long distance relationships are hard, but don't let anybody ever tell you they can't work out. My girlfriend/wife and I were in a long distance relationship for more than three years, and we're in one again. It sucks big time, but it's definitely still worth it.

If there really are problems in your relationship, it's best to discuss it in person. Phone calls, Skype, webcams, etc. are all great resources that you can use to communicate, but real problems need real people to sort them out. Not people on computer screens or voices on the other side of telephones. This is not to say you can't work it out over the distance, so don't just give up yet. It's just easier in person.

2. Do some digging
Find out exactly what led to the (possible) breakup. Dig deep. If it's something one of you said, dig deeper still and find out what led to that being said. I would assume that you are not an inherently bad person, so if you said something bad, there must have been a reason for you to say it.

Don't stop digging once you've reached what looks like an answer. Maybe there's an even deeper level, something that happened a long time ago. And quite possibly, that something was a complete misunderstanding. It's happened to us a lot, and I don't think we're unique in that way.

3. Be brutally honest
You have to be brutally honest, both with yourself, and with your partner. Your digging will lead to some things you wouldn't want to know, both about yourself and your partner. You should be prepared for it. This is not the time for mud slinging. This is the time to be a couple. Couples stand together through everything and help each other. You need to admit to the things you find.

4. Admit your mistakes
Admit those mistakes that you've uncovered. Admitting mistakes isn't saying: "I was brought up this way, I can't change..." Admitting your mistakes means finding out what you've been doing wrong so far and actively doing something about it. This is where your partnership will be instrumental. You have work together with each other to come out better as a team on the other side. But don't stop at your partner. You should also use the help of friends and family. They may be even more brutally honest with you than your partner.

5. What are your plans?
Does your partner know that you have long term plans for your relationship? You do have long term plans don't you? Like maybe getting married eventually? If you're serious about making this relationship work, I would assume it's because you feel that there is a possibility of a long term relationship. Maybe if your partner knows that's the way you really feel you will get renewed energy and a renewed sense of direction in your relationship.

Seriously, I'll never tell you when to break a relationship. Only you can ever tell yourself that. But if you don't see a long term goal for your relationship, a long distance relationship is not your best option. Long distance relationships are harder work than normal relationships, so you have to have something to work for. In our case, as with many others, it was and is definitely worth it, no matter the distance, and no matter how long we are apart.

6. Make some sacrifices
You will have to make some sacrifices in your relationship, but weigh it up against the rewards, and eventually it's no sacrifice at all. As an example, I spent a lot of money during the course of our long distance relationship in order to visit Mari often enough. But I never saw our relationship in terms of a monetary value. What I got in return is something that no amount of money can ever buy.

Maybe your sacrifice is something else. Maybe you just need to spend less time doing something else you want to do, and spend more time on the phone with your partner. Or maybe you should take the plunge and look for a job closer to your partner. Even if it may mean that you will have to work for a lower salary.

Never just give up on your relationship without a fight (for the relationship that is, not a fight in the relationship). Every relationship goes through a bit of a rough patch from time to time. Long distance relationships are no different.

Best of luck

Leon

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/six-ways-to-fix-a-breaking-long-distance-relationship-721812.html

About the Author

Leon Louw is the author of Long Distance Relationship Secrets. It is an invaluable guide to couples that are in a long distance relationship. It provides them with tips, advice and guidance on how to overcome the troubles faced by a couple in a long distance relationship.
He has over three years experience of a long distance relationship himself, and he lives the life, not seeing his wife for 10 straight weeks at a time.

The information in these articles is a much scaled down version of what you will find in Long Distance Relationship Secrets (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com) and the accompanying bonuses. I am not a psychologist, nor do I have any formal training in relationship counseling. However, Long Distance Relationship Secrets, the bonuses, and the articles (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com/artivles.html) were all written from personal experience and after much research and discussion with experts in the field. As with all my writings, he/she, him/her, etc. are all to be seen as interchangeable, except where otherwise stated, or inferred from the text itself.

How to Enhance Your Long Distance Relationship Step by Step

Author: FRANCIS K GITHINJI

Do long distance relationships work or is it just a waste of time? There are people who find love far and wide. They are not restricted in any way by geographical boundaries. They are exploring looking for love through the chat rooms and dating sites on the Internet. The modern technology has made long distance relationship a success and even better than a normal relationship. The sophistication of such a relationship is one to be admired. Many are of the idea that their love can get greater than geography; that their true mates are far away in a different country, state or even continent. How do you make a long distance relationship work?

You might be physically apart but your hearts are so much together. To make your long distance relationship work, agree on how often you will keep in touch. You will agree with me that communication is the number one ingredient to a relationship that works. You can be together but you have to be forced to talk. It doesn't matter where you are geographically as long as you communicate. For instance you can agree to be calling each other at night either two or three times. You can as well send several e-mails a day. Nowadays people are mostly using e-mail and phones to kill distance but it would be a special treat to drop a hand written letter at your lovers home. It gives them butterflies and a feeling that you are closer.

When you are discussing the contacts issue, discuss about your physical visits. Who should visit who first and how often. This will clear the course your long distance relationship will be taking. What do you talk about in your conversations? Do you continuously whine about how much you love and miss each other? Considerable content of this is okay but do not dwell on it day in day out. Let your long distance relationship partner feel part of your life by telling him/her your every day experiences. Tell them about your nagging neighbor, your experience with the bad smelling guy you sat next to in the bus and may be an unexpected car puncture.

You should not wait until the time you will physically come together. You should practice phone sex to keep each other faithful and trusted. Spice up your feelings and enjoy your time apart by having sex the fantasizing way. The brain is the greatest sex organ and you have it with you. Make it happen by the descriptions of your love making through the small gadget. Send to each other dirty stories or lyrics via e-mail or put it in phone lines. Provided you do not print them you are still safe. Finally, to enhance long distance relationship, you should stay active in your social life. Meet your other friends and have fun. The last thing you want is to be home so alone and bored. This will make you resent your partner for being so far away from you

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-enhance-your-long-distance-relationship-step-by-step-378256.html

About the Author

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Long Distance Relationship Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Long Distance Relationship