Posts Tagged ‘divorce’
September 12th, 2010 | 
Author:  |
FREE Report:
|
Glaring Signs Your Spouse is Leading a Double Life
Author: David Leonard Houde
How certain can you be that your spouse is faithful? There might be times when you notice your spouse is not the same person. They may think they are keeping their secret double life hidden from you, however, without knowing it, they are telling you all about it. Find out what signs of a cheating spouse you should look for.
There is nothing better than a combination of guilt and paranoia to uncover the double life of your cheating spouse. The cheater is going to feel some degree of guilt for being unfaithful and they may sense you know something. This is where paranoia steps in. If you notice your spouse grabbing the bills before you, running to answer the phone, or questioning your every move, you could have a cheater on your hands. They will be in a heightened alert mode, worried they cover all their actions.
First impressions are everything. If your spouse is leading a double life, they will want to do whatever it takes to impress their new lover. Changes you might see include:
- New wardrobe or clothing style
- Different cologne/perfume
- Changes to personal hygeine
- A new exercise regime
Most people usually do not like change. If you notice your spouse is sporting a new look or "scent", you might have a cheating spouse.
For a variety of reasons, a couple may have intimacy issues. Stress or having something on your mind can affect the closeness between two people. In your case, your spouse might be getting their needed intimacy from their new lover. If they are getting their "fill" elsewhere, you will notice they spend less close time with you. Their actions might include being tired, having extra work to do that keeps them up late or just falling asleep on the couch watching television. If you are feeling alone in your relationship, there is probably a reason.
Maybe that perfect marriage you have isn't as perfect as you thought. Don't be the last to know of your spouse's double life. Learn what clues to look for that will expose them. Additional signs of a cheating spouse are available at my website: http://beatingcheating.blogspot.com/
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/glaring-signs-your-spouse-is-leading-a-double-life-722296.html
About the Author
David writes articles related to issues with relationships. Visit his web site: http://infidelity-cheating-affairs.blogspot.com/
Posted in affair | 
Tags: affair, cheater, cheating, divorce, Double Life, Infidelity, sex Life, sneaking Around | 
10 Comments »
Divorce Through the Generations
Author: James Walsh
Why is the UK drawing so much attention? Divorce rates are high in a few other West European nations too. What is drawing statisticians down here is the rapidly changing demographic contours of the nation. The statistics reveal a people moving through a time of great flux. The very fact that this data is being considered as an important matter of study is itself an indication of the opinion of a generation.
A History of the Relations
Only 2% of men and women born before 1930 cohabited before marriage. By the 1960’s, the number rose to 50%. Around the middle of the 1980’s, the attitude towards cohabitation changed massively. This was when we were poised at the brink of the digital age, the concept of retail was changing, home businesses were beginning to flourish, and the children were becoming more neglected. Cohabitation was previously considered a preamble to marriage. But now cohabitation began to come up as a solution for divorcees to turn over a new leaf, avoiding a second brush with marriage. For young people it became an alternative to marriage itself. Now there is no doubt that it is a strong trend for long-term partnerships.
Divorce, in the meantime, has become quite commonplace. The divorce rates rose steadily over the years, before slumping in 2005, and it is hoped that the slump will persist. However, this is not a result of a sudden spurt of successful marriages all over the country. In fact, the number of marriages solemnised in 2005, has reached an all-time low when compared to the statistics for the past decade. So the best way to avoid getting divorced is not to get married at all.
Divorce and the Elderly
It is stunning but true, divorce rates among the sixty plus group have been on the rise for the past few years. More 55+ men and women are also getting married than ever before. The concept of the old man in ‘slippers and pantaloons’, shaking a disapproving finger at young women who leave their husbands, get a divorce, and then leave the child at home to go to work is a thing of the yester years. In fact, a jolly old granny, still working and glamorous, may start a new affair at 65. There is much support being offered on the part of the elderly where their grandchildren are concerned. More than 75% of grandparents in the UK are in favour of granting visitation rights to them too when their children divorce, and are ready to help the grand children tide over the troubled times under their care. However, most fight shy of providing continued financial support to the divorced offspring or to grand children.
Divorce and the Middle Aged
If we take the 40 – 55 group as middle-aged, the ruling trend is divorce, followed by remarriage. People of this age group are at the peak of their career, have children, and are earning well. They also divorce the least, and remarry quite often. Child care tendencies among them are also highest, and four out of five divorced mothers have voiced the opinion that they are willing to go out for work if they only had access to proper daycare for their children. Poverty among single parents is a major problem in this sector, and there are couples who are actually dragging on with a marriage because they know they won’t be able to give their children all that they need if they separated. The middle-aged group seems to be having the greatest variety of opinions as well, and survey results are highly uneven, suggesting that attitudes changed over localities, economies and cultures within the nation.
Divorce and the Young
Young people, 25 – 35, are losing faith in marriage. So divorce is not on the horizon. Those who do get married early are splitting soon. Divorce rates have been the highest among the 25 –29 group for five years now.
Divorce and Children
They are the worst-hit, and most neglected, despite all the awareness campaigns and support groups. Divorce, for them, is only pain and confusion from the unfair world of adults.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/divorce-through-the-generations-171596.html
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on getting a Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
Posted in emotional affairs |
Tags: Affordable, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Uk, Quick |
10 Comments »
Why Is There Infidelity In My Life?
Author: Len Stauffenger
Was your divorce caused by infidelity? It's one of the most painful experiences to experience. If divorce is new in your life, you might want to avoid my words, least of all agree with them. We enter into marriage with such high hopes for fidelity tattooed across our minds and hearts and we vow to be faithful to our mate. "And then something happens." The causes of infidelity in a marriage belong to both the husband and the wife, regardless of which one was actually unfaithful. If you don't admit to your role in the experience, you are bound to repeat it, so I'd strongly urge you to read about these ideas with an open mind in order to prevent this from ever happening to you again. Unfaithfulness, or having an affair, is often viewed as a betrayal of the marriage commitment. If the affair was physical or only inside your mind, both these kinds of infidelity create pain for the other spouse who looks at either one of them as some form of betrayal and breaking of the marriage vows. I can tell you that the person who is performing the infidelity is doing so for themselves, and not to go against their spouse. The infidel thinks they have valid reasons to blame their spouse, for example, the spouse has neglected them in their marriage; their spouse spends more time with the kids; their spouse has quit communicating openly with them. These are just some of the excuses for blaming someone else for what is really their infidelity, but if you are the non-offender, do look at these and see if you do any of them. The unfaithful spouse frequently works from a perspective of being jealous of his spouse for a variety of reasons, some of them too silly to even mention. Are you one of those who accepts excuses like this? Maybe an honest look at your commitment to your relationship with your spouse is due. Infidelity sometimes stems from judgments that are made about the spouse: you might think that they are not a good wage earner, so you're justified to fool around; she might be a plain Jane, and since you're such a prince, you feel justified to have an affair. He might uphold a higher moral standard than you do, which makes you think it's okay to lie and cheat on him because that'll show him! These are all mistaken justifications and need the light of honesty shined on them. You might be outgrowing the relationship but you stay in it because by now, you are financially involved to the hilt and it would be a financial smack in the jaws to divorce, so why not just have a fling to cut the boredom, add a little spice, and basically (in your mind only) honor the commitment because, after all, "It's only sex, not love." So many people do not buy that line of BS. You might work with someone who is extremely attractive and what began as innocent flirting could end up as a full blown affair. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction and what might feel great now, could end up as guilt or shame later on, so take the long view. Or is this just an act of revenge because you are aging and your spouse is holding her own a bit better than you? Have you considered what are you teaching your children? Is your example good for them? Don't think that they are quite young now and are unaware of what you're doing. They'll find out sooner or later. Don't you want to be their Big Daddy for always and forever? Making it through the other side of an affair leaves both members of the marriage shaken. I found some wonderful vulnerability quizzes on the internet that you can take to see where you stand in this sensitive situation. http://tinyurl.com/67y9au I hope and pray that you never experience infidelity again. Divorce isn't fun, and if you wise up, you'll no longer have to bear the blame.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/why-is-there-infidelity-in-my-life-791346.html
About the Author
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
Surprising Reasons Why Men Leave (and How to Handle It)
Author: Brenda Shoshanna
After a relationship ends, whether it’s a 20 year marriage or a promising romance, women ask themselves over and over, what went wrong? They ask themselves, their girlfriends and their therapists. Sometimes they even spend weeks and months blaming themselves and become afraid to try again. Once they know what really happened, it’s always easier to move on.
Below are some top reasons men leave and some guidelines on how to handle this.
They’re Waiting For The Perfect Partner
Some men have a secret fantasy which whispers that a perfect partner is somewhere, around the corner, waiting for him. This perfect partner will not only accept him as he is fully, but he’ll finally be able to express the parts of himself that are hidden. She’ll bring out the best in him. Rather than criticize and make demands, the perfect partner will give unconditionally and fulfill his every need. This fantasy should not be discounted, as it fuels much of this man's inner life. When a woman understands this fantasy fully, she has a secret for helping the man really thrive.
They Hear A Call To Adventure
As soon as some men see a relationship as stifling his basic need for adventure, he can feel himself to be trapped in a prison without bars. Many men then blame the relationship for the dilemma he is in. They do not realize that their true need is to find adventure in the relationship. A woman who does best in this kind of relationship is one who provides challenge.
They Suffer From A Fear Of Commitment
The fear of commitment is widely misunderstood. Commitment is inevitable when a man is living from the truth of who he is. When a man, however, is in a relationship out of obligation, guilt, on or to fulfill a false sense of self-esteem, no real commitment is possible. If he’s not committing, it’s because he doesn’t feel things are right for him.
They Fear That They Can’t Satisfy The Woman
There are some women who can never be satisfied no matter how much a man gives or tries to please. Some men become tied up in knots in these relationships and start to feel terrible about themselves. No matter how hard they try, they can’t get the approval they are hungry for. Some just live for those rare moments when they are acknowledged and thanked.
He’s Acting Out The Repetition Compulsion
The Repetition Compulsion is the unconscious compulsion to repeat a painful situation or relationship over and over, in the hopes it will turn out differently this time. Usually each time is worse, brings more pain and disappointment. Even in the rare instances when the person gets what he wants, the original hunger does not subside. The only solution to this compulsion is to go back to the original trauma, face it fully and work it out.
He’s Involved With The Ghost Of A Past Relationship
These Ghosts are memories, dreams and longings that linger from past relationships, which have been finished but are not over. A man can hold onto the memory of a former wife or lover and idealize her to such an extent, it prevents him from being available to anyone in the present. These memories can also become projected on the current relationship. These men must learn to say forgive the past, say good-bye, and develop the courage to love again.
Here are some Touchstones, (guidelines) for both women and men to help understand relationships better and behave in a way that is helpful for all.
Touchstones For Women
- Realize the turbulence a man goes through often has nothing to do with you - and cannot be avoided.
- Give him space to discover himself, without guilt. His changes do not mean he does not love you. Allow him to be all that he is. Acceptance is love.
- Get busy becoming all the person you can be too. There is nothing worse for a relationship than a man feeling you are clinging to him for your life.
Touchstones For Men
- Restlessness and painful feelings come so you can understand yourself better. Don’t blame them on the relationship. This is not a time to run away, but stay put and understands what is going on inside.
- While you are unsettled and confused is not the best time to act. Choices made during this time are often ruled by feelings and needs from the past.
- Make sure you help the woman realize what you are going through. Do not blame her for it. Be patient with her and yourself.
- Understand that craving other women can become an addiction and escape from intimacy, bringing only more pain and repetition in its wake.
Cc/Dr Brenda Shoshanna/2007
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/surprising-reasons-why-men-leave-and-how-to-handle-it-243912.html
About the Author
Hear men tell you in their own words why they left and what makes a relationship work in eye-opening book on modern relationships - Why Men Leave, http://www.whymenleave.com. Top psychologist,speaker, mediator,and author offers unique guidelines and instructions. Contact at mailto: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com. Get free ezine and articles http://www.brendashoshanna.com/ Go to: http://www.whymenleave to get your copy right now.
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: dating, divorce, family, love, marriage, marriage counseling, men, Parenting, Relationship Addictions, Relationship Recovery, Relationships. Psychology, Separation, sex, Therapy |
No Comments »
The Pros And Cons Of Chat Rooms
Author: Teri Plaxton
Socialization on the through internet chat rooms has become a growing trend. Online communications is quickly becoming a subsitute for face to face communications. The increasing availability of online communication tools has not only increased the efficiency in which humans interact, but has also brought about changes in the way humans interact. Due to the interpersonal boundaries of internet chat rooms, it is easy for people to express themselves in manners that would less likely take place in a more personal setting. Some would even go so far as to say an internet chat room is a state of anarchy due to the lack of control and regulation.
Chat rooms can be used for students to talk "live" to other users that are online at that time. This is called "synchronous" communication. Chat rooms can have specified topics that students talk about or can be open for any topics. Many dangers have been associated with open chat rooms where users really do not know who they are "chatting" with and inappropriate discussions may take place.
Chatting with friends online - via services like MySpace and Bebo - is beginning to take over from watching TV as the main hobby of many young people. Much of the chat is happening in what are called 'community websites'. Unlike chat rooms, they are not open to everyone: each person has to be invited to join in. A safer alternative is a private chat room where only certain known users are allowed into the chat room. This can be useful for students in a class to have a discussion with one another, for students to work in groups or for private interviews with a few people. It is not as useful if students are in different time zones since the discussion takes place in real time. Asynchronous chatting can be done through discussion boards.
Chat rooms (synchronous discussions) seem to have few advantages over news groups, listservs, or mailing lists (asynchronous discussions) - with one exception. Discussions on complicated concepts, when conducted in asynchronous mode, can take many days, or even weeks, to complete. In a chat room, the same discussion may be completed in a much shorter time. This can be very important in teaching math, science, and technology.
However, the concept has recently evolved in such a way that it mostly refers to simultaneous ("synchronous") discussions. This means that the participants are at their computers at the same time, and respond to each other's messages immediately, much like a discussion between people in a room.
1.The major disadvantage of chat rooms is that the participants need to schedule to meet at a particular time. As with any other meeting, this may be inconvenient, and may take much administration to achieve with busy people.
2.At present, not many regular public chat rooms have been established for educational purposes.
While public chat rooms for the purpose of school education are few, there are many (the great majority, and those most easily accessible, by all appearances) which are devoted to sexually explicit discussions of a kind that is most unsuitable for most school children. It is rumoured that some persons with a taste for sexual abuse of children have used chat rooms to make contact with child victims. Many people may not be familiar with how an internet chat room works. Upon entering a chat room, a person will be provided with an id. This can be an id specific to a particular chat room or depending on the service provider, it can be ones login id for their internet service. These ids are usually anynomous in nature.
An internet chat room offers an environment that is anynomous and one that allows for uninhibited freedom without fear of being indentified. This allows people to stay in control and make expressions that may not normally be made in a face to face interaction.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/the-pros-and-cons-of-chat-rooms-121188.html
About the Author
If you want to find out the secrets of popular dating sites or free personal ads, read the free articles.
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: dating services, dating sites, divorce, free online dating, friends, meet people, personals, singles |
No Comments »
How to Stop Fighting With your Partner Today
Author: Mailcucan
It's fair to say that most people avoid contact whenever they are faced with it especially in a relationship. Conflict and arguments make us feel weak and can cause us to feel badly about ourselves and our lives. If you find that you and your partner are constantly fighting, and you don't know what you do about it, maybe these tips will be able to help.
What are you fighting for?
There may be times when it seems like you're fighting about everything from the litter box to the bills, the way someone snores to how they put the towel on the floor after a shower. But what you might want to start to recognize is that not all fights are actually about anything important at all they're merely symbols of something larger. And it's that larger thing that you need to tackle in order to stop the fighting and arguing.
But how do you get to this larger issue? First of all, there are many psychological techniques that can help you, so there's no need to become frustrated before you even start. Some couples are able to sit down and talk about what frustrates them, but for those that can not, writing is an amazingly effective way to get your feelings out. What you can do is simply take five minutes to write until you run out of things to say. While you might not think that you can write for that long, you'll be surprised what happens once you get started. This free writing exercise allows your mind to switch off and allows the censors to be quiet so that you can release your real feelings about what is happening in your relationship.
Every day help
You may also want to try this exercise every morning when you first wake up. By writing down everything that is on your mind, you will keep it from becoming too 'full' and confused. Many people find that this exercise not only allows them to be calmer in their relationship, but that they can also find solutions to ongoing problems that come up. This is a long term tool that works for many couples.
Right now
If you want to diffuse your fighting today, you can do several things. First of all, it helps to step outside of your anger and your frustration by realizing what is really happening. Talk about the 'source' of your fighting as though it were happening to someone else. This might mean that you start to refer to each other in the third person (he or she) in order to fully separate yourself from the emotions that are occurring. You might also want to start talking in hushed tones to calm down your body physically so that your mind responds as well. It's hard to be upset when you're talking softly.
What are you getting out of fighting?
Another thing that you will want to consider is whether or not you're rewarding the other person for fighting with you, or if they are rewarding you. We only do things that bring us some sort of satisfaction, so what is the reward of all of your fighting? Think about what happens immediately after a fight. Do you head to the bedroom as a sort of reward for the fight being over? Do you talk lovingly to each other or go out and reward your selves in some other manner?
When you start to realize that pattern of your fighting, you might start to see that you are actually allowing it to continue to happen. Instead of making it something that isn't good for your relationship, you're creating the connection that if you fight, you will get something in return. To effectively stop the fighting and start uncovering what the source is, you need to stop rewarding the fighting itself. After a fight, you shouldn't do anything that makes it rewarding. Sit with each other, but try not to create any sort of reward unless you actually work through the problem that you have fought about.
Fighting isn't something that you can entirely avoid, but it is a signal that you should look more closely at your relationship and how you are managing it. By taking the time to write out your feelings and then discussing problems calmly, you won't have to start yelling in order to feel heard.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-stop-fighting-with-your-partner-today-67154.html
About the Author
Make my wish come true - Make my dreams come true.
FREE rare eBook has changed thousands of lives in more ways than one! Download your copy today!
Free Tarot Reading Secrets
to help you understand your destiny in life and plan your life with confidence. Discover how you can improve your love, money, health, work and career luck today!
Effective Relationship Advice Brings Your Marriage Life Back on Track!
Author: amar
Your marriage life may not go on smoothly forever. It is bound to face some turbulent times that put a question mark on the sustainability of the relationship itself. Relationship advice is what you can relay upon to save your relationship from turmoil. Naturally, there will be a lot of advice coming your way. But, every piece of advice may not be acceptable for you. So, looking for the right relationship advice that can resurrect your life is highly sought by couples nowadays.
There are countless instances where couples in deep emotional bonding for years decide to get separated from each other suddenly. The love and charm are gone and the beloved partners have nothing to do with each other. Here relationship advice comes into play. Whether you have recently broken up or you're in the midst of a divorce process or your ex-partner is already dating someone new, for more details visit to www.auto-cons.com there are few simple techniques that can fix your relationship and bring your deserted partner cheerfully back into your arms.
Human beings are not perfect. When two persons live together for years, there would be naturally some relationship problems between them. It is not your fault. Everybody encounters the same problem. People since the day of their birth develop different kinds of relationship with others. They come in and out of the relationships every now and then. But, people never strive to maintain their relationships or how to make them better. A relationship advice can make you aware of that fault.
According to relationship advice, we are never taught in our lives how to sustain a happy and healthy relationship. So, there is nothing surprising in committing some mistakes. However, there are some fatal mistakes that if we commit can slowly ruin the relationship and take your partner further away from you. These include seeking help from family and friends, promising your partner that you'll change, for more details visit to www.be-an-air-courier.com hoping that your relationship will automatically survive, attempting to reason with your partner etc.
The simple techniques that were mentioned earlier in the article can prove to be effective relationship advice. You can save yourself from expensive counseling and expensive divorce lawyers by adopting these techniques. To revive your relationship, you don't need to drag your partner into it. Introducing the shortest relationship repair guide ever created, Radomir Samardzic offers you one proven relationship advice instead of plenty. He has 7 years of experience in teaching people how to save their relationships without involving their partners. His book, aptly titled "The Relationship Saver" is a result of his rich experience. You can visit RelatioshipSaver.org to have more information and download the copy.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/effective-relationship-advice-brings-your-marriage-life-back-on-track-731842.html
About the Author
www.divorce-rebuild-your-life.com
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: couples, divorce, love, people, relationship advice, singles |
No Comments »
Life After Divorce for Men
Author: James Walsh
Judges tend to be more sympathetic with wives, especially mothers, and give importance to their plight while deciding the case. They take into account their financial situation and emotional troubles. In most divorce situations, women are assigned child custody by the court and the husband is directed to pay her alimony for their upkeep.
There are many reasons for this. Women and children have a very strong bond that is unmatched by any other relationship. The former are also considered more sensitive, tender and caring than men as far as interacting with the kids is concerned. Children also respond to mothers naturally and seek them for protection and comfort. Usually, men live separately from the family after divorce and are allowed to see children once a week or so through visitation rights.
Divorce is a different ballgame for men and they have to tackle different challenges. For them, the family split is a costly affair. They often have to move out of the house and seek new accommodation. Apart from this, the family assets are divided among partners and they have to pay a good chunk of their income as alimony to their ex-wife until the children are grown up or she remarries.
Women have one major advantage after divorce. They have full-time access to kids because of child custody. Due to this, mothers often give their own twist and interpretation to their divorce story and may fill the kids with bitterness or hatred for their fathers. This is almost like psychological warfare which weakens the already tenuous bond between dads and kids.
It is actually a myth that men have a thick skin compared to women and are hardly affected by the various ups and downs of their lives. The reality is that the former are as emotional as women. They have the same feelings as the fairer sex. It is only that men have been conditioned to not show their emotions in public.
This is because there are other people (wives, children, sisters, mothers, younger siblings) who look up to men for support and protection. If the latter show their tender side in public and become emotionally perturbed in front of everyone, the rest of people become insecure and panic.
This is the reason why men do not generally show their emotions publicly, and those who do are considered somewhat unmanly. But men who are sensitive by nature suffer as much as women do when the divorce takes place. For one, they do not get child custody and are forced to meet their kids occasionally, strictly at the frequency decided by the court.
It has often been observed that many men after divorce also suffer from health problems. If the divorce was filed by their spouse, they are totally unprepared for the emotional trauma inflicted on them for no fault of theirs. They feel betrayed and rejected and slip into chronic depression. Many are forced to seek professional treatment to come out of their condition.
For a child’s normal upbringing, it is essential that he or she get love and affection equally from both the parents. Mothers offer them emotional security and support and act as their confidante, while fathers teach them discipline and give them guidance in worldly matters.
Fathers are actually regarded as the main role model by children, especially the boys. It has been found in various studies that teenage children from divorced families not living with their fathers have more behavioural and psychological problems compared to those supervised by their dads.
It is a myth that single fathers cannot bring up children on their own, but single mothers can. Today, more and more dads are willing to accept child custody and bring up the kids on their own. But for this, they have to make some changes in their lifestyle and take some measures at home. If the kids are small, then they have to look for a crèche or hire a reliable baby sitter who can take care of the children in their absence.
Single fathers should keep one thing in mind. They can never replace mothers. It is just not possible. So it is better to be honest with the kids and try to be as good a father as they can. The children will understand the situation and accept the reality that their mother is no longer with them.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/life-after-divorce-for-men-261926.html
About the Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: Affordable, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Uk, Quick |
No Comments »
Family and the Future of Love Relationships
Author: Sarah McCrum
If you look at the average 20 year old, the chances that they have had any real education about relationships and love are pretty slim. Growing up as kids, they probably learned a little biology about the male and female body; they've possibly read some love poetry by Shakespeare or some other great author; they've usually watched their parents relationship going through some significant ups and downs with little explanation about what's going on. But in terms of understanding themselves and their needs and requirements for love and relationship the average 20 year old is pretty unprepared for the real world.
The main thing parents have the power to change in this area is to become more honest with children about relationships while they are still living at home. With marriage ending in divorce at the rate of about 50%, it is unfair to teach children that every relationship is supposed to last forever. It is not true that when you fall in love with somebody - or find the right person - you will live happily ever after. Having babies is not the be-all and end-all of relationships and cannot save an unhappy marriage. The form and function of the modern family has changed and children are not responsible for their parents getting divorced (many of them feel they are).
Many parents want to hide what goes on in their relationship from their children in the desperate hope that their children will do better than they have done. But it doesn't work like that! It never has.
If you want to see your children have better relationships than you it is necessary to start by helping them learn more about the reality of love and relationship. You need to talk with them about how and why relationships work (and don't work). Make a commitment to being more honest about your own mistakes. You also need to realize that your children know far more than you may sometimes think. When you try to hide the truth it is only confusing to them - their senses tell them one thing while your words say something quite different.
This doesn't mean you need to spill all the blood and guts to young children and disturb them. They don't need to know all the ups and downs in your relationship. But it does mean that you need to start to help your children have realistic expectations about relationships, and this includes the fact that every family relationship has problems. Kids need and want to learn how to face up to problems and solve them rather than run away or hide from them.
If you feel afraid of being honest with your kids about relationships, you are not alone. The majority of parents mistakenly feel that kids need to be protected from the truth because it is often painful or disappointing. But they may not be aware that children see and feel what is going on despite all the things that are covered up or lied about. And to a child, that dishonesty is more painful than the truth. To top it all off, that dishonesty becomes their pattern for their future relationships.
On a more positive note, children can handle much more than we realize if they are treated openly and with respect. Kids who grow up with a more realistic picture of love, relationships and family living are much better prepared for life than those who are kept in ignorance and then are left to make the same mistakes as their parents.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/family-and-the-future-of-love-relationships-598408.html
About the Author
Sarah McCrum MA, PGCE, Dip LC, is Director for the Academy of Potential Education located in New Zealand and London. The Academy’s main focus is to “prepare people for the future”, using an approach that assist students of the Academy’s programs to develop the skills to overcome any problem and achieve any life goal. Results for the Academy of Potential Education programs have been very positive. Results can be downloaded here: http://potentialeducation.org/research.html
sarah@potentialeducation.org
http://www.potentialeducation.org
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: Children, divorce, Education, family, Future, home, Kids, love, marriage, Parents, relationships |
No Comments »
Top 20 Relationship Deal Breakers
Author: Nicholas Aretakis
If you’re a single woman looking to marry and start a family, here’s a fact that may startle you: The average amount time from single status to motherhood is approximately five to seven years. For a woman now 30, that means waiting until her late 30s or early 40s to have a child. A second one might not be an option.
Now let’s contrast this with the less urgent situation of the man. He many theoretically like the idea of being married one day, but for him the issue of when that day comes isn’t as urgent. Men have the luxury of being more self-centered, putting work and friends ahead of finding a missus.
Here’s my big message: Don’t waste precious time dating the wrong guy. Don’t ignore signs of what I call relationship deal breakers. These are qualities, habits, and attributes you just know you can’t life with. Deal breakers vary form woman to woman. You may not mind a man who smokes, for example, but your best friend could never tolerate it.
Here are the top 20 deal breakers. Consider adding your own to this list.
1. No Prime Time: He’s always busy on Friday and Saturday nights.
2. Nothing in Common: He’s a sports enthusiast, you live for the ballet, and there’s no middle ground.
3. Family Matters: He always has major family obligations or faces significant issues in his family, such as interpersonal strife, mental illness, disease, a disability, or a disorder.
4. Religious Differences: Can you face the possibility of compromising or converting? Can you agree on how to raise children, if desired?
5. Politics: You fundamentally disagree on candidates and ideology.
6. Obsessions: He’s a workaholic, an incessant trainer, a fanatical enthusiast, and these obsessions take up all his time and mental energy.
7. Bad Habits: He is a slave to cigarettes, drinks excessively, smokes pot regularly, or abuses harder street drugs or prescription medication.
8. History of Bad Habits: A man “in recovery” could relapse.
9. Loner: He has no close friends from home, work, college, high school, team sports, or even the bar scene.
10. Jealous: If he doesn’t trust you, particularly around other men, it often means that he doesn’t trust himself.
11. Rude: He’s impolite to strangers, co-workers, friends, family, or people in the service industry.
12. Poor Hygiene: He has bad breath, body odor, or other forms of poor hygiene.
13. Unhealthy: He doesn’t take care of himself and is often ill or tired.
14. Unemployed or Underemployed: He doesn’t work very often, very hard, or at all.
15. Idle Rich: He’s a trust fund baby who seems to have no responsibilities and lacks a value system.
16. Values: He has moral standards you can’t abide, such his views on abortion or whether a woman should leave the workforce to raise children.
17. Lost: He doesn’t know his purpose or have any direction.
18. Boring: Your mind wanders when it’s his turn to speak.
19. Aesthetically Unpleasing: You find him physically unattractive.
20. Hothead: He has a short fuse and possibly a “chip on his shoulder.”
Know your deal breakers and check for them as early as possible in the guy who’s caught your interest. If your gut tells you this is Mr. Wrong, tell him as nicely as possible to take a hike. It’s never too early to ditch Mr. Wrong.
Resource:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1641431/ditcing_mr_wrong_how_to_end_a_bad_relationship_and_find_mr_ri/
* * * * *
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/top-20-relationship-deal-breakers-579187.html
About the Author
Nicholas Aretakis is a life coach and writer tackling challenging subjects. He is the author of Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right. He splits his time between Saratoga Springs, New York, and Scottsdale, Arizona. Mr. Aretakis interviewed hundreds of women, committed to helping women become more dating savvy.
www.ditchingmrwrong.com
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: Abuse, Bachelorette, Bad Relationships, commitment, dating, Dating Protocol, Dating Test, divorce, Eligible Bachelor, Engagement, Finding Mr. Right, First Date, marriage, Online Dating, relationships, Separation, Significant Other, Single Women, Unmarried |
No Comments »
