Posts Tagged ‘Children’
October 17th, 2010 | 
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Single Parent Dating - Dealing with your Children
Author: Deborah Dixon
Being a single parent is hard enough without dating, but when you decide the time is right to start dating again you need to be prepared for spreading your time between your family life and your personal life. This may feel like an impossible task, but it can be a lot easier once your children are aware of your intentions, but this doesn’t mean telling them every detail. Your aim is to make your transition back into dating as smooth and relaxing as possible, allowing you to enjoy the dating experience once again.
Firstly the most important thing you have to do is talk to your children. Tell them that you are planning to meet new people. You don’t need to go into details about these new people being your date, simply call them your friends or work friends. Don’t expect a happy reaction or much of a reaction at that; sometimes children, often depending on age, don’t fully understand what you are saying. It is common to receive a negative response about this news. Your children will have had your attention to themselves for so long and don’t welcome the thought of having to share your time and affections with others. This is the time to offer them reassurance and give them time to adjust to the idea of you dating.
When you first start dating again, it is important that you don’t spend your whole time talking about your children. You might find this hard, as your children are a huge part of your life, but your date will want to get to know who you are before they get to know your children. This doesn’t mean that you can’t mention them; simply keep conversation about you children to a minimal.
It is your choice when you feel the time is right to introduce your date to your children. You must be aware that forcing your date to like your children and vice versa can have a negative impact. You must let a bond form naturally between them, otherwise bitter feelings could form. Keep introductions between them short at first and gradually lengthen the time your date spends with you and your children.
Throughout your dating experiences it is vital that you understand how your children are feeling. It will be necessary to keep reassuring them that you aren’t going anywhere and you will always be there for them, but don’t let them stop you dating. It may be hard, and at times you will need to put yourself first, but there will also be times when you will have to put your children first. If your date doesn’t accept the fact that your children are a priority in your life, then this is a good sign that a relationship simply wouldn’t work. It is all about finding a happy balance between dating and your family life; but don’t loose sight on the fact that you are dating again for yourself and you deserve to be happy.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/single-parent-dating-dealing-with-your-children-923238.html
About the Author
Deborah has been the head copy writer for Completely Free Dating for over 2 years offering help and advice to its members on all aspects of free dating. Completely Free Dating is a free online dating service for people living in the UK, with absolutely no charges to any member at any time for any service.
Posted in Get an ex back | 
Tags: child, Children, date, dating, dating with children, dating with kids, deal, dealing, Kids, parent, single, single parent, single parent dating, single parent dating advice, single parent dating issues | 
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Family and the Future of Love Relationships
Author: Sarah McCrum
If you look at the average 20 year old, the chances that they have had any real education about relationships and love are pretty slim. Growing up as kids, they probably learned a little biology about the male and female body; they've possibly read some love poetry by Shakespeare or some other great author; they've usually watched their parents relationship going through some significant ups and downs with little explanation about what's going on. But in terms of understanding themselves and their needs and requirements for love and relationship the average 20 year old is pretty unprepared for the real world.
The main thing parents have the power to change in this area is to become more honest with children about relationships while they are still living at home. With marriage ending in divorce at the rate of about 50%, it is unfair to teach children that every relationship is supposed to last forever. It is not true that when you fall in love with somebody - or find the right person - you will live happily ever after. Having babies is not the be-all and end-all of relationships and cannot save an unhappy marriage. The form and function of the modern family has changed and children are not responsible for their parents getting divorced (many of them feel they are).
Many parents want to hide what goes on in their relationship from their children in the desperate hope that their children will do better than they have done. But it doesn't work like that! It never has.
If you want to see your children have better relationships than you it is necessary to start by helping them learn more about the reality of love and relationship. You need to talk with them about how and why relationships work (and don't work). Make a commitment to being more honest about your own mistakes. You also need to realize that your children know far more than you may sometimes think. When you try to hide the truth it is only confusing to them - their senses tell them one thing while your words say something quite different.
This doesn't mean you need to spill all the blood and guts to young children and disturb them. They don't need to know all the ups and downs in your relationship. But it does mean that you need to start to help your children have realistic expectations about relationships, and this includes the fact that every family relationship has problems. Kids need and want to learn how to face up to problems and solve them rather than run away or hide from them.
If you feel afraid of being honest with your kids about relationships, you are not alone. The majority of parents mistakenly feel that kids need to be protected from the truth because it is often painful or disappointing. But they may not be aware that children see and feel what is going on despite all the things that are covered up or lied about. And to a child, that dishonesty is more painful than the truth. To top it all off, that dishonesty becomes their pattern for their future relationships.
On a more positive note, children can handle much more than we realize if they are treated openly and with respect. Kids who grow up with a more realistic picture of love, relationships and family living are much better prepared for life than those who are kept in ignorance and then are left to make the same mistakes as their parents.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/family-and-the-future-of-love-relationships-598408.html
About the Author
Sarah McCrum MA, PGCE, Dip LC, is Director for the Academy of Potential Education located in New Zealand and London. The Academy’s main focus is to “prepare people for the future”, using an approach that assist students of the Academy’s programs to develop the skills to overcome any problem and achieve any life goal. Results for the Academy of Potential Education programs have been very positive. Results can be downloaded here: http://potentialeducation.org/research.html
sarah@potentialeducation.org
http://www.potentialeducation.org
Posted in Get an ex back |
Tags: Children, divorce, Education, family, Future, home, Kids, love, marriage, Parents, relationships |
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