Posts Tagged ‘cheating’

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How to Get Over the Bumps in your Relationship and Mend Anew

Author: Kasan Groupe

Are you in a long term relationship but can’t seem to find the strength to get over the past? Have you done something harmful to your spouse that still makes you feel guilty years after? If so, it’s really time to get over it. If you are heading down the path to marriage it’s straight up silly to dwell on the bumps from the past. Look to the future and try your best to remain loyal and confident about where you are going in your romance. Nothing is worse than having the same fight over and over again, so take these tips to heart and try hard to heal the dents in your relationship.

  1. Don’t get jealous. Just because you may have cheated doesn’t mean your spouse will do the same. If you happen to get out of the restroom and see your man talking to some chick at the end of the bar stool, don’t fret. Don’t lose your practical mind and assume the worst. You never know, this lady could be a freelance wedding planner who simply saw your ring and decided to reel your man in for the ultimate wedding. Be careful not to act in ways that they should be acting, suspicious and jealous. Give your loved one the respect and trust he deserves because after all, he didn’t make the mistake you did.
  2. Avoid past behaviors that get you in trouble. If you happened to have an affair with your ex-boyfriend, cut all ties. It is so not right to keep sneaking around your man’s or woman’s back with the very person they despise. Nothing will ever be solved with you guys, even if you remaining faithful. A trusting relationship should involve the complete truth and no omissions.
  3. Keep the past in the past. If you have both vowed to never talk about it again, never ever bring it up. It’s a fight that will never be solved. Try your best to avoid those conversations and admit the truth and your faults if it is mentioned by your lover. The main thing to focus on when rebuilding a relationship is learning from your mistakes and to always move forward. There is no sense in taking backward leaps.
  4. Keep the others out of it. If you have friends that have been by both your sides since the very beginning, they may think they know what the right thing to do is, but chances are, they only think they know. They really have no say and should not be involved in these types of matters. Though she may be your best friend, keep her out of it because only you and your lover should figure out what’s best for you.

It’s simple. If you are trying to rebuild a once broken relationship stick to these four rules, don’t assume and get jealous, avoid things that get you in trouble, keep the past in the past, and keep everyone else out of it. If it is about rebuilding trust, work hard and never force anything. What is meant to be will happen.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-get-over-the-bumps-in-your-relationship-and-mend-anew-1650479.html

About the Author


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Dating Tips and Advice - Guys Don't Need Them to Pick Up Women

Author: Amir Rimer

It seems to me that we are seeking success with women because we believe that if we are successful with women we will experience some sort of great joy and enduring pleasure.

What I said may surprise you.

Moreover, it may also surprise you that success with women is not what you REALLY want.

You only want to be in this state because you believe that this state will serve as a bridge between your current less fulfilling state (emptiness, loneliness, despair, etc...) to a different more pleasurable state (satisfaction, fulfillment, and contentment).

Yet, for some reason the state of being successful with women never seems to materialize. The only place where it usually does is in your head.

So, the inevitable question is: why?

Why are you doing everything that you can to achieve success with women yet fail and why there are some guys who treat women badly, yet achieve all the success they want?

Now the simple answer that most dating gurus give to men is that women are attracted to men that are confident and are repulsed by nice men who radiate neediness and lack of self esteem.

This is very true. This is what is actually going on, but how does this help the guys who lack confidence reach the state of success that the confident guys have.

If you have read any of my articles you probably know by now that I don't believe in giving people positive methods to achieve any physiological endeavors in life.

On the contrary, I believe that we have tried all the positive methods to become successful with women for years and we still find ourselves exactly where we started. Very depressed and confused.

So instead of doing what we have always done and expect different results, let's do things differently in order to experience new results.

Let's forget following a positive system, advice, tip, or guru and concentrate our powers on: Negation of false beliefs.

I tried to explain negation of false beliefs in many ways in the past and in this article I will try to explain it through a fun yet informative allegory.

Imagine yourself living on an island.

The island has two sides to it which are separated by a huge river.

The two sides of the island, X and Y, are occupied with people, yet the people from side X cannot visit the people from side Y (and vice versa) because there isn't any bridge or boat which can help them to cross the huge river.

The "X" side of the island is the side where you want to be (a side populated by confident guys who are extraordinary successful with women).

And the "Y" side is where you currently are (a side populated by "nice" guys who aren't successful with women).

You want to move from where you are (Y) to where you think you should be (X).

The problem is, apart from crossing the huge river, is that people from side Y of the island only accept newcomers who ALREADY have a confident mentality like they do.

So when you ask yourself or other people questions like:

- How can I become successful with women? -

- Can you give me 5 ways / tips / strategies,suggestions to get hot girls?

- Do you know how I can get my ex-girlfriend back?

- Why do women always dump me and then go out with jerks that treat them badly?

The answers you get for your questions, as you see, are not important at all.

What is important is that you currently have the kind of mentality which will not give you access to side "X" of the island.

This may be the most important thing I can tell you, don't forget it.

I will repeat it again in different words, because it is so important!

The questions that you ask are much more important than the answers you get.

The "nice" people who occupy side "Y" of the island are always asking these kind of unproductive questions, which show lack of confidence and are always trying to figure out why they are stuck on the "Y" side of the island.

As I said before, you can only be a part of the community of side "X" of the island if you are acting like its inhabitants from the very beginning.

After you become the kind of person who is thinking, speaking, and acting like the people from side "X", you will not have to do anything at all to cross the huge river. You will suddenly find yourself in side "X".

So the next time you have a burring question which you just can't find answer for, stop for a second and ask yourself the following question very seriously:

From which side of the island am I asking this question?

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/dating-tips-and-advice-guys-dont-need-them-to-pick-up-women-589208.html

About the Author

Amir Rimer gives the complete story on how to attract women, using the most groundbreaking, innovative psychological techniques in the world in his new eBook The Dating Doctrine, which has now become available.
To learn more about how to become a women magnet, download the FREE 7 day mini course he has especially prepared for you at the following link:
http://www.yougetgirl.com


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Communication, Commitment and Trust. the Three Corners of a Long Distance Relationship

Author: Leon Louw

The three corners of a long distance relationship.

Which one of the three corners of a triangle is the most important?

Or to put it another way, which one of the three can you take away in order to leave a triangle? Obviously, if you take out any one of them, your triangle will collapse. The same goes for a long distance relationship. It actually applies to any relationship, but I’ll show you why it’s so crucially important in a long distance relationship.

Communication

There is no such thing as a relationship without communication. If you want one-way communication, get yourself a potted plant. They’re also very good at one way communication. Some people even say their potted plants thrive when they talk to them. But there’s very few people that would admit their plants actually talk back to them.

Communication is such a basic part of every day life, that you’d think most people would be quite proficient at it. Breathing is an important part of everyday life, and most people seem to manage it quite fine, so communication should be a breeze shouldn’t it? (pun not intended) Guess again! Most people don’t know the first thing about communication.

What do you think is the single most common reason for marriages ending in divorce? Make your pick from the following: Infidelity (unfaithfulness), communication, violence, sexual problems, money problems, too busy lifestyle, or self-centeredness.

Apparently (I didn’t verify this statistic) fully 85% of marriages that end up in the divorce court, end because of a lack of communication. Looking at the list above, you will see that communication actually plays a part in most, if not all of the other factors. Whether or not you are married or just in a serious relationship doesn’t make the slightest difference here. Your relationship may not end up in a divorce court, but the reason for it breaking could be exactly the same.

Becoming a good communicator

It’s all fine and well that you now know communication is so very important, but what good does it do you if I don’t help you to communicate better? In order to help you, I’m going to show you a few basics of communication. People communicate differently due to various reasons, including, but not limited to:

- maturity

- sex

- culture

- temperament

Maturity

Your level of maturity is mirrored by your communication. I don’t mean you should sit around and complain about the good old days like old people, I just mean that you need to (at least some times) be able to have a good heart-to-heart discussion about important issues.

I can’t think how an immature person would handle a long distance relationship. If you are in a long distance relationship and you want it to work, you will have to handle it in a very mature way. This is especially important due to the fact that you are not together all the time. Your communication time is limited, so when you need to discuss serious matters, you can’t just shy away from it.

So what do you do if your partner isn’t mature? Well, luckily, maturity is something you can learn. People are born with a certain tendency towards maturity, but the more mature you act the more mature you will become. If your partner is serious about your relationship he will make it work. Sit down and have a mature discussion about it. This is sometimes one of those things that you just need to point out for the change to occur.

Sex

We all know men and women communicate differently, and I’m not just referring to the actual topics of the conversation. Men focus more on words and technicalities, whereas women focus more on tone of voice and body language. And that’s a pretty big generalization. Just remember, when you’re talking to somebody of the opposite sex that that person may interpret your meaning in a completely different way than what you initially intended. Be aware of that fact, and you can save yourself a world of trouble.

Culture

This is especially important for couples that are of different backgrounds. And I’m not just referring to different ethnic backgrounds. Even people from the same ethnic background, but different parts of the same country can have very different ways of communication.

You should never hide behind the fact that you’re from a different culture. What I mean is: If you know certain people find certain words offensive, even though where you come from they have different meanings, it doesn’t give you the right to abuse that fact. When communicating with your partner, always keep your backgrounds in consideration.

Temperament

You all know those people that seemingly get offended at everything? Or what about those people who seem to offend everybody with their style? Even though it’s also not something to hide behind, it’s probably a factor of their different personalities (temperaments). It’s a good idea, if you’re in a serious relationship, to find out exactly what personality type both you and your partner are. It will make communication so much easier. You will suddenly understand why, for example your partner misinterprets certain things you say, or why she sometimes seems so harsh on you.

Commitment

There really isn’t much to say about this. When you find somebody you really love, you WILL commit to that person. If you don’t, then your relationship is doomed from the start. There can be no relationship when there is no commitment. The moment an even remotely interesting third party shows up, your relationship will be down the drain if you haven’t committed to each other.

Commitment is something that you will have to work on. It builds heavily on the communication you have in your relationship, but also on trust. See why I say none of the three corners can be removed?

Trust

Let me just start of by saying this: Distrust is normal. Don’t feel like a terrible person just because you don’t always trust your partner. By the way; you thought your partner was great, so somebody else may just think the same way. But before you let trust – or the lack thereof – ruin your relationship, just ask yourself the following question: Why am I distrustful?

Do you have a valid reason for distrusting your partner? Really think about it for a while. If you both really love each other and are truly committed, why are you worrying? One of the main reasons to be distrustful is probably because of mass media. We’ve all seen movies, TV shows or have read books where the husband/wife comes home early only to find an untrustworthy partner in bed with someone else.

Does this really happen? Unfortunately it does. Does it happen nearly as often as we are made to believe? I’ve seen the Golden Gate Bridge being destroyed at least 5 times during the last 10 years. Funnily enough, it’s still standing; despite what Hollywood thinks should be happening. I’ve also seen at least 6 different attempts by aliens to take over or destroy the planet (some more humorous than others). I’ve still to see my first real alien – the green tentacled type, not the illegal immigrant type.

Suffice it to say this: Trust is like respect. The more you give, the more you will get. If you really trust your partner, it will show, and you will receive the trust back. You weren’t planning on cheating were you? Of course not, so trust you partner to do the same.

But here, once again, the three corners of the triangle will have to work together. I firmly believe that the more you communicate, and the more openly you communicate, the more you will learn to trust each other. And the more you trust each other the more committed you will be to each other. And the more committed you are, the more you will trust each other and communicate with each other.

I can carry on like this for a few more paragraphs until you are completely dizzy, but I’m certain you understand by now. If you feel you need to work on one of these points, you will have to work on all three of them.

 

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/communication-commitment-and-trust-the-three-corners-of-a-long-distance-relationship-698961.html

About the Author

Leon Louw is the author of Long Distance Relationship Secrets. It is an invaluable guide to couples that are in a long distance relationship. It provides them with tips, advice and guidance on how to overcome the troubles faced by a couple in a long distance relationship.
He has over three years experience of a long distance relationship himself, and he lives the life, not seeing his wife for 10 straight weeks at a time.

The information in here is a much scaled down version of what you will find in Long Distance Relationship Secrets and the accompanying bonuses (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com). I am not a psychologist, nor do I have any formal training in relationship counseling. However, Long Distance Relationship Secrets, the bonuses, and the articles (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com/articles.html) were all written from personal experience and after much research and discussion with experts in the field. As with all my writings, he/she, him/her, etc. are all to be seen as interchangeable, except where otherwise stated, or inferred from the text itself.

Please visit http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com/articles.html for more great free articles on long distance relationships.


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Six Ways to Fix a Breaking Long Distance Relationship

Author: Leon Louw

How do you get your love back when all seems lost?

I received the following question:

"My relationship was going well and then it plummeted. It was a long distance relationship but it was going so well and strong for 7 months and then crashed. I would give anything to get her back and I really need some advice."

This is just one example of countless questions I receive asking advice for basically the same problem. So how do you fix a relationship that has gone bad?

Go for the 6-point checklist

1. Go visit
If you really would do anything, I suggest you start by going to see your partner and try and work things out. Long distance relationships are hard, but don't let anybody ever tell you they can't work out. My girlfriend/wife and I were in a long distance relationship for more than three years, and we're in one again. It sucks big time, but it's definitely still worth it.

If there really are problems in your relationship, it's best to discuss it in person. Phone calls, Skype, webcams, etc. are all great resources that you can use to communicate, but real problems need real people to sort them out. Not people on computer screens or voices on the other side of telephones. This is not to say you can't work it out over the distance, so don't just give up yet. It's just easier in person.

2. Do some digging
Find out exactly what led to the (possible) breakup. Dig deep. If it's something one of you said, dig deeper still and find out what led to that being said. I would assume that you are not an inherently bad person, so if you said something bad, there must have been a reason for you to say it.

Don't stop digging once you've reached what looks like an answer. Maybe there's an even deeper level, something that happened a long time ago. And quite possibly, that something was a complete misunderstanding. It's happened to us a lot, and I don't think we're unique in that way.

3. Be brutally honest
You have to be brutally honest, both with yourself, and with your partner. Your digging will lead to some things you wouldn't want to know, both about yourself and your partner. You should be prepared for it. This is not the time for mud slinging. This is the time to be a couple. Couples stand together through everything and help each other. You need to admit to the things you find.

4. Admit your mistakes
Admit those mistakes that you've uncovered. Admitting mistakes isn't saying: "I was brought up this way, I can't change..." Admitting your mistakes means finding out what you've been doing wrong so far and actively doing something about it. This is where your partnership will be instrumental. You have work together with each other to come out better as a team on the other side. But don't stop at your partner. You should also use the help of friends and family. They may be even more brutally honest with you than your partner.

5. What are your plans?
Does your partner know that you have long term plans for your relationship? You do have long term plans don't you? Like maybe getting married eventually? If you're serious about making this relationship work, I would assume it's because you feel that there is a possibility of a long term relationship. Maybe if your partner knows that's the way you really feel you will get renewed energy and a renewed sense of direction in your relationship.

Seriously, I'll never tell you when to break a relationship. Only you can ever tell yourself that. But if you don't see a long term goal for your relationship, a long distance relationship is not your best option. Long distance relationships are harder work than normal relationships, so you have to have something to work for. In our case, as with many others, it was and is definitely worth it, no matter the distance, and no matter how long we are apart.

6. Make some sacrifices
You will have to make some sacrifices in your relationship, but weigh it up against the rewards, and eventually it's no sacrifice at all. As an example, I spent a lot of money during the course of our long distance relationship in order to visit Mari often enough. But I never saw our relationship in terms of a monetary value. What I got in return is something that no amount of money can ever buy.

Maybe your sacrifice is something else. Maybe you just need to spend less time doing something else you want to do, and spend more time on the phone with your partner. Or maybe you should take the plunge and look for a job closer to your partner. Even if it may mean that you will have to work for a lower salary.

Never just give up on your relationship without a fight (for the relationship that is, not a fight in the relationship). Every relationship goes through a bit of a rough patch from time to time. Long distance relationships are no different.

Best of luck

Leon

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/six-ways-to-fix-a-breaking-long-distance-relationship-721812.html

About the Author

Leon Louw is the author of Long Distance Relationship Secrets. It is an invaluable guide to couples that are in a long distance relationship. It provides them with tips, advice and guidance on how to overcome the troubles faced by a couple in a long distance relationship.
He has over three years experience of a long distance relationship himself, and he lives the life, not seeing his wife for 10 straight weeks at a time.

The information in these articles is a much scaled down version of what you will find in Long Distance Relationship Secrets (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com) and the accompanying bonuses. I am not a psychologist, nor do I have any formal training in relationship counseling. However, Long Distance Relationship Secrets, the bonuses, and the articles (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com/artivles.html) were all written from personal experience and after much research and discussion with experts in the field. As with all my writings, he/she, him/her, etc. are all to be seen as interchangeable, except where otherwise stated, or inferred from the text itself.


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3 Ways to Make a Relationship Work After Cheating

Author: Chris H.

Cheating remains one of the biggest reasons couples break-up. It leaves such a negative impact that you end up wondering if your relationship is even worth saving. Not to mention all of the advice that is passed along to you from family and friends. If your heart is telling you that it can work again, then it is worth a listen, regardless of who has done the cheating. No one can understand the depths of your relationship the way that you do. Below are three tips that may help you take the next step so that you can make a relationship work after cheating.

1. Stop Listening to Advice Family and friends are wonderful because they are there to support you through good and bad times. However, that often is a problem when it comes to taking advice about your relationshp. The reason being that they simply aren't objective enough. Chances are they do not want to see you get hurt so they may give you advice that keeps you from trying again.

2. Get to the Root of the Problem Regardless of who cheated in the relationship, there is a reason why it happened. Lack of communication? Loss of interest with one another? Whatever the reason, the point is to get to the bottom of it. The best way to handle it is to ask "why?" The key is to not judge and be honest with one another. Once you have the issues narrowed down, you can begin the healing process.

3. Get Objective Proven Advice We are all very complex and complicated individuals. If that weren't the case, we wouldn't have need of therapists or counselors. We all need advice and strategies to help us get through tough times but more often than not, we need that advice from someone who can provide an objective view. Having someone close to you offer their advice can make things even worse because he or she may take one side over the other. You want relationship strategies that are not the same old tactics that have been dished out for years. You can go to any magazine stand and pick out three magazines in the same category and chances are, they are all offering the same, tired, old advice.

You Have Nothing to Lose: Your relationship is already hanging on by a thread right? So what have you got to lose by reading real advice that goes against the traditional mumbo jumbo you already hear? Find out exactly what you need to make your relationship work after cheating by following up on my resource box below.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/3-ways-to-make-a-relationship-work-after-cheating-767894.html

About the Author

Sick of the same old useless relationship advice? Read free user feedback of the relationship guide that provides out of the box strategies for making up. Read online relationship advice that works.


Getting caught cheating doesn't have to be the end of the world or the end of your marriage. Now there will likely be at least a few tough days ahead but if you let your wife know a few crucial things the odds are good that you can work things out.

It's imperative to be sure you want to work things out though before put forth all the effort. What you do not want is to end up being in a scenario not many years down the road where you're under-going the same relationship pattern that led to you cheating to begin with.

Maybe you have made up your mind to work things out with your wife? Here are a couple of things you should say to receive her attention.

1) "I'm sorry." Those two teeny little words are sometimes so tough to say but to your wife, especially in this instance, they mean everything. Your woman has to hear them if she's going to have the ability to move ahead. She might not be ready to hear them and maybe you have to convey them more than once. Apologize with total sincerity and you are going to be in an obviously better posture to work things out.

2) Say this "I still love you." Above all else your wife could question your love for her. For most women, cheating may be the biggest betrayal, on an emotional level, you can commit. It's more painful than siding along with your mother in an argument. It really is that bad. But, the first idea that's gonna come to her thoughts are that you must not love her anymore, otherwise you wouldn't be able to hurt her like that. She needs reassurance big time and it might take a little doing on your part to convince her. Tell her you still love her frequently. More importantly, demonstrate to her you love her. Ultimately she'll begin to believe you again.

3) Express to her how much you need her. Women need to be needed. It is a simple fact. She's much more likely to stay if she feelslike you honestly do treasure what she does for you. Let her understand how much the minor things she does for you mean and just how much you appreciate them. Make her feel as though you cannot make it through the day without her. Show her how confused you are without her. You'll be amazed at how massive of an impact this will have but it will reach her when a great many other things will not.

Think it's too late? Don't worry. You can still get your wife back. It's going to take a little more work but when you start with step one of these step by step instructions, you'll have your ex back in no time - even after you have cheated.
The Magic Of Making Up (Get Your Ex Back).

Get Ex Back For Women - Get Your Man Back System.

Pull Your Ex Back ( Get Your Ex Back).

Get Your Ex Back Never Revealed Before System.

Back Together Forever - Get Your Ex Back Video Course.

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